Estimated Reading Time 9 Minutes
Hey You! Thanks for joining me on another fabulous episode of The Vibrant Life Podcast! I’m Emily Romrell and as always, I’m psyched to be with you. Today, we’re tackling the urge to judge others head-on, and trust me, it’s a game-changer. So get ready to transform the way you interact with the world around you, leave judgment behind, and step into a life filled with compassion, understanding, and vibrant connections.
Real quick, let’s talk about some tools that will help you on your journey to a more vibrant life. And I’m pretty excited because these are my personal creations. First, we have The Vibrant Life Goal Planner, your ultimate companion for setting goals and achieving your dreams. It’s not just a planner; it’s your roadmap to success, filled with prompts, core values, and motivational quotes to keep you inspired. And add a sprinkle of creativity to your day with Po~Em’s, my poetry collection. With each turn of a page, you’ll be transported to a world of beauty, emotion, and introspection. Trust me, these books are not to be missed! Both are on Amazon now!
Here’s the deal, Peeps, I pour my heart into creating content that uplifts and empowers you, and I’d love you to be part of this journey. So hit that subscribe button, leave a comment sharing your thoughts, and don’t forget to share The Vibrant Life Podcast with the people in your life. Together, we can make a real difference in the world. And hey, keep an ear out throughout this episode for moments to drop a comment or share your own experiences. Let’s make this conversation as vibrant and engaging as possible!
Today, we’re discussing something we all grapple with: the urge to judge others. Imagine yourself as a kid snuggling up on the couch with a bowl of cereal on Saturday morning. If you’re a millennial like me, your memories include Mr. Rogers. With his colorful cardigans and soft-spoken demeanor, he welcomed us into his world with open arms and a warm smile. Perhaps his most enduring lesson is the simple invitation: “Won’t you be my neighbor?” This song calls for love and acceptance for everyone, despite our differences. Mr. Rogers showed us the power of empathy and understanding. In these tumultuous times, his message is more relevant now than ever.
In our hyper-connected, fast-paced world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of judgment. We scroll through social media, sizing people up based on their carefully curated photos and status updates. We meet strangers on the street and make snap judgments based on their appearance or demeanor. We engage in heated debates, clinging stubbornly to our own perspectives without pausing to consider the humanity of those on the other side. But what if we took a page from Mr. Rogers’ playbook and approached every interaction with the same kindness and compassion? What if we chose empathy over judgment, understanding over condemnation? Imagine the ripple effect of such a shift in mindset, not only in our personal relationships but also in our communities and society as a whole. It’s powerful to think about.
One of Mr. Rogers’ underrated talents was his ability to embrace silence. In a noisy world, he wasn’t afraid to pause, to be still, and to let the moment breathe. Even on TV, where every second is precious, Mr. Rogers understood the power of a quiet moment for reflection. He showed us that amid our busy lives, taking a moment to pause and consider is crucial. By bringing this practice into our lives, we cultivate a sense of mindfulness and presence that allows us to be measured and thoughtful in our interactions with others.
Mr. Rogers had an exceptional ability to see others. His famous line, “I like you just the way you are,” displays a deep understanding of each person’s intrinsic promise and worth. It’s not about dismissing flaws or failings but celebrating each person’s distinct soul and divine light. By viewing others through a lens of love and acceptance, we foster an environment open to growth and transformation. This perspective reminds us that every person is on a journey of becoming, and by honoring their inherent value as children of God, we empower them to reach their fullest potential. It’s a beautiful reminder that genuine connection is rooted in recognizing and celebrating the humanity and divinity in each of us.
From Mr. Rogers who invited us to be his neighbor, let’s turn to Jesus Christ, who invites us to love our neighbor. In Matthew 22:37-40 we read:
“Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,
Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
In these verses, Jesus teaches us the essence of God’s law: love. He emphasizes that the two greatest commandments are love for God and love for our neighbors. These are the foundation for all other laws and teachings. They are the core of righteous living.
The call to love isn’t a gentle suggestion; it’s the bedrock of Christ’s message—a message that leads to genuine joy. Perhaps the best example of loving our neighbor is found in The Parable of the Good Samaritan from Luke 10. Jesus paints a vibrant picture of what it means to embody compassion and kindness towards others. Of course he does that not only with this story, but with his whole life.
A man was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was attacked by robbers, stripped of his belongings, and left half-dead by the side of the road. As the injured man lay there, two individuals—a priest and a Levite—passed by without stopping to help, perhaps out of fear or self-interest. Eventually, it was a Samaritan, someone considered an outsider by the Jewish community, who took pity on the wounded man. He bandaged his wounds, poured oil and wine on them, and then took him to an inn where he could rest and recover. The Samaritan even went so far as to pay for the man’s care, promising to return and cover any additional expenses.
This parable reminds us that love knows no boundaries and can bridge divisions in society. In today’s world, we find limitless opportunities to be a Good Samaritan. Whether it’s lending a hand to someone in need, reaching out to those who are marginalized, or simply showing kindness to others around us, we can choose to make a positive impact. I mean that’s what living a vibrant life is all about, right? Picture extending a little tolerance or help to someone with drastically different political views, having a respectful conversation with someone from another faith, or showing compassion to someone from a different culture. Like the Good Samaritan and Mr. Rogers too, we can see beyond differences and extend kindness to all. By loving our neighbors as ourselves we can create a more inclusive and compassionate world.
Together, these two commandments, to love God and to love our neighbors form the moral framework that guides our actions, attitudes, and priorities. They remind us that genuine spirituality is about cultivating a deep and transformative love—love for God and love for our fellow human beings. Side note: as you and I are human beings on this planet, we also need to show love for ourselves. That is vital. But when we prioritize these two commandments, all other laws and teachings naturally fall into place. They serve as the North Star illuminating our path toward the best and happiest life possible.
Learning to love others rather than judge them is a beautiful aspiration, but it can be daunting. Some people are extremely difficult to like and loving them may seem impossible. Luckily, there are things we can practice to become more understanding.
First, I’m going back to Don Miguel Ruiz, who wrote The Four Agreements. This book is maybe the one I recommend most in the personal development world. It’s short. You can read it in a day but the lessons he teaches are life changing. The second agreement is about not taking things personally. This means understanding that when people act or speak, it’s more about them than about us. When we remember this, we are kinder and more understanding, even when others aren’t.
So, let’s unpack not taking things personally. Imagine: You’re going about your day, and someone cancels plans with you last minute. Maybe it’s a friend or a family member, and you were really looking forward to spending time together. Instead of internalizing it as a rejection or a reflection of your worth, consider the source. Maybe that person is overwhelmed with work, feeling anxious, or simply not in the right headspace. By recognizing that their behavior is more about them than about us, we can choose to respond with grace.
Even inventing a story in your head for why a person is behaving a certain way is a great way to dissolve frustration and anger. Pretend they’re facing unexpected challenges. By creating a story that humanizes their behavior, you’re more likely to respond with gentleness rather than resentment.
However, it’s essential to remember that not taking things personally doesn’t excuse behavior. People will still face consequences for their actions. But by not adding more emotional pain or drama into our lives on top of it, we can navigate challenging situations with greater resilience and peace of mind.
So, the next time you encounter a situation where someone’s actions sting, remember the second agreement: don’t take it personally. By doing so, you’ll make the world a little brighter for yourself and those around you.
Another important practice is to try to see things from other people’s perspectives aka empathy. It involves imagining how someone else feels or thinks. As Atticus Finch wisely said in To Kill A Mockingbird, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” When we do this, we can understand them better and be more caring.
However, while empathy is important, it’s also crucial to establish boundaries. We need to ensure that we don’t become too enmeshed in the lives of those around us to the point where we neglect our own well-being. It’s about finding a balance between caring for others and living our own best life.
Being grateful is a powerful tool in fostering love and kindness towards others. Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you” for the good things in our lives; it’s a mindset and emotional combo of appreciation and acknowledgment for the big and small blessings that surround us.
When we focus on what we appreciate about others, we shift our perspective from one of scarcity to abundance. Instead of dwelling on what others lack or how they fall short, we recognize and celebrate their positive qualities, actions, and contributions. We might express gratitude for a friend’s listening ear during a difficult time, for a coworker’s dedication to their work, or for a family member’s unwavering support.
When we acknowledge the goodness in others, we naturally feel more connected to them and are more inclined to treat them with love, kindness, and respect. The optimal go-to is to look for the best in others, not the worst. That will eliminate a lot of judgment.
When we take a breath and examine ourselves inwardly, that’s where we make the most progress. It’s important to think about our own biases—the ideas we have about different groups of people. These judgments often come from our upbringing or past experiences and can affect how we see others. By noticing and questioning these beliefs, we can become more open-minded and accepting of everyone, no matter who they are.
For example, we might realize that we have certain ideas about people based on their race, religion, or background. Maybe we don’t like the way they slurp their soup or eat a sandwich. But are these beliefs fair or are they influenced by stereotypes? By asking ourselves these questions, we learn to see people as individuals. It’s a journey that requires humility and an open heart, but it’s worth it to create a world where everyone feels valued and accepted.
In a world often clouded by judgment, let’s embrace empathy and love. By choosing understanding over criticism and gratitude over condemnation, we enrich our lives and contribute to a more compassionate world. Let’s challenge our biases, appreciate the goodness in others, and strive to love our neighbors as ourselves. It’s one of the oldest messages out there but it’s also one of the most important. Thank you for joining me today. I hope you have a terrific week. Live The Vibrant Life!
