Estimated Reading Time 15 Minutes
Hey You! Welcome to The Vibrant Life Podcast, I’m your host, Emily Romrell, and I’m stoked to have you with me today! I know it’s been quiet around here. Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with some fibromyalgia and POTS flare-ups that take a toll on my energy, and some personal life matters needed attention, so I took a step back to recharge. But I’m back and so ready to jump back in!
I want to give a massive shoutout to all my peeps who’ve reached out with love and support. Seriously, you all are amazing! Your encouragement is a big reason I keep going with this project. While I still may need to take breaks occasionally for my health, I’m committed to keeping The Vibrant Life Podcast going strong.
While I’m mentioning supporters, I need to give a shoutout to my dad, Brian Romrell, who celebrated his birthday yesterday. As an early bday present, I took him to an airshow—flying has always been his thing, and we had a blast! Dad, thanks for your love, laughter, and for the wonderful times we have together. Has anyone told you you’re awesome today? You are the best!
Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to invite you to something special starting tomorrow: The LDS General Conference is happening this Saturday and Sunday. It’s a fantastic opportunity to hear messages of hope and peace from living prophets and apostles.
The First Presidency of the Church recently said, “General conference provides an opportunity to receive personal revelation as general Church leaders give counsel and direction from the Lord. We encourage all to listen to, study, ponder, and apply the counsel and direction given.” The conference features five unique sessions:
Saturday sessions are at 10 a.m., 2 p.m., and 6 p.m.
Sunday, sessions are at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m.
You can watch it online at ChurchofJesusChrist.org or on YouTube. Or of course, just google it. I hope you tune in; it’s a great way to refresh your spirit!
This podcast is about love and if you love The Vibrant Life Podcast, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button to stay connected. Your feedback is invaluable, so please leave comments and reviews — I love hearing from you. And if you find this content uplifting, share the podcast with the important people in your life. Share the love people!
You know that old saying that people are onions with lots of layers? Shrek had some wisdom between those green ears. That’s true, but onions are a bit polarizing—my sister, Kimberly, who hates onions I’m sure agrees. So, I’m ditching onions and over the next several episodes we’ll explore the layers of a lasagna. Who doesn’t love lasagna, right? It makes me think of Garfield which hits me right in the childhood. And I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty chuffed with this model I’ve created! The Lasagna of Love Ability. There’s a pretty sweet infographic I created showcasing The Lasagna of Love Ability attached to these episodes.
The Lasagna of Lovability is a delicious masterpiece of personal growth, where each layer represents a crucial aspect of nurturing love in our lives. Just like a lasagna is carefully crafted with layers of pasta, sauce, and cheese, our journey through love ability unfolds layer by layer. I won’t be able to cover the entire lasagna in one episode—it’s a series! This is the first series I’ve done on The Vibrant Life Podcast and I’m excited. I’m coming back with a bang people. And I’m telling you, my friends, the life lessons I’m covering in this series have been hard-won. I’m so psyched to share it all with you!
Today in part one we’re starting with the foundational layer of our lasagna or the long pasta noodle layer: 1. Self-Love. In the following five episodes, I’ll cover:
2. Loving Those Who Bring Joy
3. Loving Those Who Challenge Us
4. Everyday Acts of Love
5. Forgiveness and Grace
and finally
6. Loving God.
So there are six episodes in this series total. Each layer builds upon the last, creating a delicious Lasagna of Love Ability that enriches our relationships, our happiness, and our overall well-being. Let’s savor each layer of this journey together and discover how love ability makes life vibrant.
Ok Peeps, take a quick moment to visualize the tastiest, cheesiest, meatiest piece of lasagna ever made. Is your mouth watering? Mine is. This masterpiece of the culinary world is famous because it’s a harmonious combination of different layers, each bringing its unique flavor and texture to create a delicious whole. The same principles apply to love ability.
Today is Part 1, the long pasta noodle layer or foundational layer: Self-Love.
The Foundation Layer: Self-Love: What makes lasagna, lasagna? It’s the sturdy pasta that holds everything together, right? In The Lasagna of Love Ability, this is Self-Love. Without a solid foundation of self-love, we can’t live our healthiest happiest lives. We could still use the other layers to make something delicious, but it wouldn’t be lasagna, right? With self-love as a foundational layer, the other layers of love in our lives are enhanced and strengthened. Life is more vibrant.
I read something a long time ago that asked: if you made a list of all of the things you loved, how long would it take before you named yourself? Wow. It’s something to ponder, right?
In a world that constantly demands more from us—more achievements, more possessions, more perfection—it’s easy to lose sight of our inherent value. We are bombarded with messages suggesting that our worth is tied to what we accomplish, what we look like, or how we measure up against others. But here’s the truth, you are lovable exactly as you are, right now. Your worth is not contingent on anything except the fact that you are a child of God. Don’t brush this off or think it’s meant for someone else. I’m speaking directly to you—you are deserving of love and kindness in this very moment. If you get anything from my message today, that’s it.
I know this can be hard to accept, especially when life feels heavy and dark. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges, finding a way to love yourself can seem nearly impossible. I’ve walked that path, and I understand how difficult it can be to see any value or light within yourself when you’re engulfed in darkness. It’s not just about the struggle; it’s about the sheer exhaustion that comes from fighting these internal battles day in and day out.
But even amidst this pain, please try to remember this: you are worthy of love, and you are valuable just as you are. It’s okay to start small—maybe by acknowledging a single strength or celebrating a small victory. It’s okay to lean on others for support, to seek help when you need it. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. Embracing self-love doesn’t happen overnight; it’s a journey filled with ups and downs. And it’s a journey I’m still on as well.
Through it all, hold onto this truth: you are precious, not because of what you achieve or how you compare to others, but because you are a child of God. Even when it feels hard to believe, keep reminding yourself of this truth. You are deserving of compassion, and you are loved beyond measure.
As a student of personal development and as a human, I’ve wrestled with the idea that “you have to love yourself before you can love others.” This isn’t true. It’s often touted in self-help circles, yet I’ve come to understand things differently through my own experiences and observations. For decades, I poured my heart into loving those around me—my family, my friends, even strangers—while neglecting self-love. And my love for others was real and meaningful. I’ve found that love isn’t always a linear progression where self-love precedes outward love. Sometimes it’s through loving others deeply that we learn the value of extending that same compassion and care to ourselves.
Psychology supports this perspective. Studies have shown that acts of kindness and love towards others enhance our own well-being and self-esteem. Also, the concept of self-compassion emphasizes that nurturing a kind attitude towards oneself is crucial alongside compassion towards others. This dual approach acknowledges that love can be reciprocal and iterative. When you genuinely love yourself, it radiates outward, others naturally love you back and vice versa. We’re drawn to those who exude self-love and confidence because it inspires us to recognize and embrace our own worth. It gives us all permission to be our best selves and flourish.
In one of my favorite movies, Dan in Real Life. There’s a great scene where Dan’s daughter’s boyfriend, in his youthful wisdom, says, “Love isn’t a feeling, it’s an ability.” This is said just as Dan is sending him home because the boyfriend snuck his way into their family reunion. The passionate teenage daughter then exclaims, “You are a murderer of love!” It’s hilarious and relatable and it’s a true concept. Love isn’t just something we feel; it’s a skill we can cultivate and improve.
It reminds me of Clint Black’s song, “Something That We Do,” which captures the beauty of love as an action, something we continuously work on and grow into. My mom said this to us often as well growing up. Love is something that you do. It’s an action word. I have a few practical tips to help us all better love ourselves. These are exercises to build your self-love muscles. By practicing these skills, you’ll be amazed at how much your self-love ability will grow, enriching every aspect of your life.
Practice Self-Compassion: A crucial aspect of self-love is developing self-compassion. According to renowned researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, “Self-compassion is simply the process of turning compassion inward. We’re kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate. We give ourselves support and encouragement rather than being cold or judgmental when challenges and difficulties arise in our lives.” In other words, it involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and care that we would offer to a close friend. This approach stands in stark contrast to the harsh self-judgment many of us impose when we fall short of our expectations.
This principle is echoed in spiritual teachings. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has implored us to be kind to ourselves. In his talk, “Be Ye Therefore Perfect—Eventually,” Elder Holland emphasizes that we are all works in progress and should not expect immediate perfection. He reassures us with the reminder that “except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing,” highlighting the need to allow ourselves grace and compassion as we strive for improvement. And the true miracle is that no one is more compassionate, loving, or forgiving than the Savior. If he is reaching out to us, we should be willing to take his hand and love ourselves.
When we have compassion for ourselves, we create an internal environment that fosters acceptance and personal development. Instead of being driven by fear of failure or self-condemnation, we nurture an inner resilience that allows us to embrace our imperfections and learn from our experiences. This self-kindness not only reduces stress and anxiety but also enhances our ability to persevere through life’s challenges, empowering us to grow and evolve. Self-compassion, therefore, is not about excusing mistakes or avoiding accountability. It’s about recognizing our humanity and allowing room for healing, improvement, and transformation. And paradoxically, it’s about recognizing our divine nature as children of God and letting that divinity shine through.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Embracing self-love involves setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in our relationships and commitments. Dr. Henry Cloud, in his insightful book Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, captures this idea. He explains, “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.” By setting boundaries, we’re not just protecting our time and energy; we’re affirming our worth and valuing ourselves.
Think of boundaries as clear limits that safeguard your well-being and maintain your integrity. They’re guidelines indicating what you will and won’t do that align with your values. Implementing a boundary means understanding your needs, communicating them with kindness, and sticking to them with confidence. I think of boundaries as “If/Then” situations. For instance, you might set a boundary by saying, “If I receive work emails after 6 p.m., then I will respond the next business day.” Or, you might decide, “If I feel overwhelmed by social commitments, then I will politely decline to rest and recharge.” This approach allows you to handle situations with clarity and grace.
Kevin Keovongsa teaches the importance of boundaries in his Ensign article How to Set Boundaries for Well-Being stating, “The truth is, we don’t have an endless supply of time, energy, and resources. We can’t be everywhere and do everything for ourselves and everyone else—we’re only human, after all! But we can support and serve others while maintaining our well-being. The key to this balance is setting healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries means recognizing your personal limits and establishing parameters to protect yourself from being violated, neglected, or manipulated.” Deep down I think we all know this. Setting boundaries is not only about preserving your energy but about honoring your divine worth and ensuring your relationships are filled with respect and appreciation.
But here is the wonderful ironic truth. God has no boundaries. In the same article Brother Keovongsa says, “Whenever we struggle or feel exhausted, we can always turn to Heavenly Father and the Savior. They can rescue us and support us because Their capacity is infinite. There are no boundaries to Their healing power. The Savior’s invitation comes with a powerful promise: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Boundaries give us space to say no to what doesn’t serve us and yes to opportunities that align with our goals. By establishing and honoring boundaries, we protect ourselves, enrich our interactions, and affirm our worth in the most heartfelt way.
Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for self-love. When we practice gratitude, we shift our focus from what we lack to what we have, helping us recognize the abundance in our lives. This shift in perspective is transformative, it allows us to see our lives through a lens of appreciation rather than deficiency.
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, in his talk “Grateful in Any Circumstances” asks, “Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.” and later he goes on, “When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?”
I love that so much. I have a deep connection with rainbows and one of the lessons they teach is that there is always something to be grateful for even when life is extremely difficult.
Brené Brown also highlights the importance of gratitude. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, she states, “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness—it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” She explains that gratitude is a practice that requires consistency and mindfulness. By regularly acknowledging the small and ordinary blessings in our lives, we open ourselves up to greater self-love, peace, and resilience.
When we integrate gratitude into our lives, we find appreciation for ourselves and our experiences. This practice helps us acknowledge our worth and the goodness around us, which, in turn, nurtures our ability to love ourselves. Gratitude not only improves our mental and emotional well-being but also enhances our capacity to weather difficulties with grace and strength, making it a key component of a life rooted in self-love.
Nurture Your Talents: Unleashing and developing your unique talents is a fantastic way to boost your self-love. In the parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30), Jesus tells the story of a master who entrusts his servants with varying amounts of money—five talents to one, two to another, and one to the last—before going on a journey. The first two servants invest their talents and double their amounts, while the third buries his talent out of fear. Upon the master’s return, he praises the first two servants for their faithful stewardship but rebukes the third for his inaction, declaring that even what he had should be taken away from him. This parable shows us that when we hide our talents, they tend to stagnate or even be lost, but when we use and develop them, they flourish and multiply.
President Spencer W. Kimball explained, “God has endowed us with talents and time, with latent abilities and with opportunities to use and develop them in his service. He therefore expects much of us, his privileged children.” (The Miracle of Forgiveness).
In today’s world, personal development guru Marie Forleo shares the truth that: “The world needs that special gift that only you have.” Everyone has something special to offer, and it’s our job to discover and nurture those unique gifts. Instead of letting fear hold you back, embrace your talents with enthusiasm and see how they brighten both your life and the lives of others.
When you develop your talents, you’ll find that your confidence and joy soar. It’s about stepping out of your comfort zone, discovering what you’re capable of, and enjoying the ride. By celebrating and honing your gifts, you’re not just making the most of your own potential—you’re also adding more light and happiness to the world around you.
If you’re not sure where to start, here are some fun ways to uncover your hidden gifts. First, think about what activities make you lose track of time and feel energized—these are clues to your natural talents. Try new hobbies or revisit old ones to see what resonates with you. Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family what they think you’re good at; their insights might reveal strengths you hadn’t considered. And remember, if there’s anything you’re curious about or just want to develop as a talent, you can absolutely do it! With practice and enthusiasm, anything can be learned and mastered. Embrace the journey and enjoy the adventure of discovering what makes you shine!
Seek Spiritual Strength: Prioritize spiritual practices that nurture your relationship with God. Engaging in prayer, scripture study, and church services offers essential spiritual nourishment and reaffirms your divine identity and intrinsic worth. These practices connect you with a loving Heavenly Father and provide a sense of purpose and direction, enriching your sense of self-love.
Elder David A. Bednar emphasizes the transformative power of prayer, stating:
Prayer becomes meaningful as we remember our relationship to Deity and heed the admonition to:
Cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day. (Alma 37:36–37. (see Elder David A. Bednar’s talk, “Pray Always”).
President Russell M. Nelson also provides profound guidance on strengthening our sense of self-worth. He advises, “Take time to think about how you are an elect son or daughter of God created in His image who was taught and prepared for everything you would encounter in your earthly existence.
Ask your Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, how He feels about you and your mission here on earth. If you ask with real intent, over time the Spirit will whisper the life-changing truth to you. Record those impressions and review them often, and follow through with exactness.
I promise you that when you begin to catch even a glimpse of how your Heavenly Father sees you and what He is counting on you to do for Him, your life will never be the same!”
I love this so much and I can’t really say it any better. But here’s just one more self-help expert that drives everything home:
James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, reinforces the importance of building all of these Self Lovability habits into our lives. He notes, “You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”
By incorporating regular self-love practices into our routines, we create a supportive framework that supports our sense of self-love and resilience. We’ll cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and appreciation. Remember, loving yourself is not selfish—it’s essential.
And that’s a wrap for today’s episode of The Vibrant Life Podcast! Remember, just like the pasta noodles form the essential foundation of a lasagna, self-love is at the core of all the layers of love we build in our lives. Embrace this foundational layer, and you’ll find that every other aspect of love becomes more meaningful and vibrant.
Thank you so much for joining me on The Vibrant Life journey. I appreciate your support and patience as we dive back into these important conversations. Don’t forget to subscribe to The Vibrant Life Podcast so you can stay up-to-date with all the new content I’m cooking up!
Next week, I’ll be diving into Part 2 of The Lasagna of Lovability: Loving Those Who Bring Joy. We’ll explore relationships that light up our lives and bring us happiness. It’s going to be delightful and I can’t wait to share it with you.
Take care, and until next week! Live The Vibrant Life!
Support The Vibrant Life Podcast
Thanks for tuning in to The Vibrant Life Podcast! As a one-woman show, I do it all—creating, researching, editing, and designing—because I truly love you, my friends. If you’d like to support the show, every little bit helps! You can donate via PayPal using @vibrantlifepodcast or Venmo @TheVibrantLifePodcast. There’s links in the show notes at emilyromrell.com. No pressure, just gratitude!
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- The Vibrant Life Goal Planner—your roadmap to making dreams happen!
- The Vibrant Life Coloring Book—unwind and get creative with fun designs.
- Po~Em’s—a heartfelt poetry collection for moments of reflection.
Search for me, Emily Romrell, on Amazon. I love you all—let’s keep living The Vibrant Life together!
