Estimated Reading Time 9 Minutes
Hey you! This is The Vibrant Life Podcast! I’m your host, Emily Romrell, and I’m delighted to have you joining me for another deliciously vibrant episode. Right now, we’re in the middle of a series called The Lasagna of Love Ability, where each layer represents a different aspect of love, our relationships, and personal growth.
Last time, we celebrated the joy-bringers—the people who light up our lives and bring sunshine even on cloudy days. Today, we’re getting saucy in Part 3: Loving Those Who Challenge Us. Think of it as the rich tomato sauce that adds depth to even the toughest relationships.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: “Loving those who challenge us? Really? Those folks who stir up our inner turmoil and push our buttons?” It sounds more like a recipe for frustration than fulfillment! But, trust me, embracing these relationships is transformative.
And while we’re at it, let’s take a step back to Part 1 in this series, Self Love. It’s funny how the people who challenge us can sometimes amplify the challenge of loving ourselves. It’s often hardest to give ourselves grace, especially when tough relationships trigger our insecurities. But these moments can be reminders of the importance of self-compassion—choosing to love ourselves even when others don’t make it easy.
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By loving those who challenge us, we unlock deeper connections and gain valuable insights into both ourselves and those we dislike. Like master chefs finding the perfect balance of flavors in a dish—sometimes it takes a little acidity to elevate the sweetness!
So if you’re ready to turn challenging relationships into opportunities for growth, let’s go!
First, let’s define “challenging” people. These are folks who seem to have a Ph.D. in pushing our buttons, dredging up feelings we’d rather keep tucked away. It could be family members who dismiss us, friends who thrive on negativity, or energy vampires who drain the good vibes right out of us. We’ve all got them and part of life is learning how to deal with them.
An all-time example of sticking it out in difficult relationships comes straight from The Book of Mormon, where Nephi is constantly up against his brothers, Laman and Lemuel. These two didn’t just complain or play the occasional prank—they went all in. They beat Nephi, tried to kill him more than once, refused to help him without serious arm-twisting, and even tied him up for days on a ship during a massive storm. Talk about testing patience! Yet Nephi, in an impressive show of love and understanding, forgave them time and again, continuing to pray for them and choosing compassion over bitterness. His resilience and dedication to love despite hardship make this story a masterclass in perseverance and love.
Challenging relationships aren’t here to tear us apart but to help us grow. As Dr. John Demartini says, “Nothing is going to make you as unhappy as being at odds with someone else.” Loving those who challenge us doesn’t mean accepting poor behavior without question—it’s about showing love while remaining firm in our own values. Like Nephi, we can still hold true to what we believe in and stand up for what’s right, all while maintaining a spirit of love. In fact, it’s through that balance of strength and compassion that we often find the greatest growth.
The poet Khalil Gibran weighed in on this idea, stating, “Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving” (Gibran, The Prophet). When we encounter challenging people, we can remember each interaction is a chance to sow seeds of empathy, understanding, and it’s a chance to make a true friend.
I thought it would be fun and a little cheesy to share the story of Eros and Psyche. We’re all about love, right? Well, this myth goes back to the beginning and beautifully illustrates the complexity of love and the challenges that come with it.
Once upon a time, in a realm where gods and mortals mingled, Psyche was renowned for her extraordinary beauty. Her allure was so captivating that it sparked jealousy in Aphrodite, the goddess of love herself. Aphrodite, feeling threatened by Psyche’s beauty, commanded her son Eros, the god of desire, to make Psyche fall in love with the most hideous creature imaginable.
Fate had other plans. Eros, upon seeing Psyche, was enchanted by her beauty. Ironically, he pricked himself with one of his own arrows, causing him to fall hopelessly in love with her. Instead of following his mother’s orders, he whisked Psyche away to a hidden palace, where he visited her in the night, unseen. Their love blossomed in secret because Psyche was forbidden to gaze upon his face.
However, the secrecy weighed heavily on Psyche. Driven by curiosity and the whispers of her jealous sisters, she eventually succumbed to temptation. One fateful night, she lit a lamp to see Eros’s true form. To her astonishment, she discovered that he was not a hideous beast but a breathtakingly beautiful god. But in her moment of weakness, a drop of hot oil from the lamp fell onto Eros, awakening him from his slumber. Hurt and betrayed, Eros fled, leaving Psyche heartbroken and alone.
Desperate to win back her love, Psyche embarked on a perilous journey, seeking the help of Aphrodite. In her anger, Aphrodite imposed a series of seemingly impossible tasks on Psyche, including sorting a mountain of grains, collecting golden fleece from fierce sheep, and retrieving water from the River Styx. Each challenge tested Psyche’s resolve and strength, but she persevered, showing an incredible capacity for love and determination.
In her darkest hour, Psyche was aided by the very elements that had once seemed insurmountable. Ants helped her sort the grains, a river god provided the water, and a wise reed gave her advice on how to safely collect the golden fleece. With each challenge she overcame, Psyche’s love for Eros only deepened, proving that love often requires overcoming obstacles together.
Psyche’s efforts reached their climax when she was led to the underworld, where she had to confront her deepest fears. There, she retrieved a box containing a beauty potion meant for Aphrodite. But in her longing to be beautiful for Eros, she opened the box and fell into a deep sleep.
Eros, discovering Psyche in this state, realized he could no longer live without her. He swiftly flew to her side, kissed her, and awakened her from her slumber. Yep, she is the OG Sleeping Beauty. In that moment, the couple reunited, their love stronger than ever, having withstood the tests of jealousy, betrayal, and hardship.
Moved by their unwavering love, the gods decided to grant Psyche immortality, allowing her to be with Eros for eternity. Through their trials, they learned that love requires not just passion, but also trust, patience, and a willingness to accept one another’s imperfections.
The saga of Eros and Psyche is the ultimate rom-com of Greek mythology, featuring love’s ups and downs, miscommunications, and a whole lot of soul-searching. Eros embodies the fiery passion of love, while Psyche represents the curious, sometimes complicated nature of our souls. Together, they remind us that love isn’t always a smooth ride; sometimes it’s a trek through a thorny forest of misunderstandings and emotional baggage!
Their tale illustrates that even in the chaos of challenging relationships, there’s always room for growth, laughter, and a little fairy-tale magic. We learn that true love is about navigating the bumps and bruises of life with the people who matter most to us. When we find ourselves faced with difficult people, let’s channel our inner Psyche and remember that love, in all its forms, often flourishes when we embrace the messy parts. It’s the willingness to face those challenges together that can lead us to the vibrant connections we’ve been craving!
Loving those who challenge us is not only possible; it’s vital! These people are like annoying gym buddies who push you to lift that extra weight you didn’t think you could handle. They test our limits, force us to confront our beliefs, and shine a spotlight on our shortcomings, whether we like it or not.
When people see the world differently or challenge our perspectives, we’re often pushed to defend our values and beliefs. It’s like polishing a rough stone into a sparkling gem. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, puts it beautifully: “The more we can recognize that all actions are attempts to meet needs, the more we can see the value in the behaviors we find challenging.” Through empathy, we can approach difficult people with curiosity rather than frustration.
Let’s talk strategies for showing love to those who test our patience:
Active Listening: Full attention means putting down the phone, nodding along, and hitting them with a “Wait, what happened after Gary the gecko vanished?” It shows you’re fully engaged and creates a safe space for them to open up.
Empathize and Validate: You don’t have to agree with everything, but acknowledging their feelings goes a long way. Hate pineapple on pizza? Just say, “I get it, sweet and savory’s your thing,” and let them have their pizza peace. (Personally Peeps, I love pineapple on pizza so go team pineapple!)
Set Boundaries with Compassion: Got a 3 AM texter? “Hey, I’m out like a light at 10, but I’ll get back to you in the morning!”—a boundary that protects your well-being without shutting them out or causing drama.
Focus on Common Ground: Love the same Netflix show? You both have Czech ancestry? Who knew? Use these little points of connection to bond and keep the conversation light, even when things could get tense. (I do have Czech ancestry and my brother served a mission over there which was great.)
Reflect on Your Reactions: Does their constant lateness drive you up the wall? Ask yourself why. Reflecting on what triggers you helps you stay cool and respond with patience instead of snapping.
Celebrate Small Wins: They actually showed up on time? Or you survived dinner without a single fight? Celebrate these moments, no matter how small—give yourself a mental high-five for keeping it positive.
By mixing thoughtful actions with a little humor, you can navigate challenging relationships with grace, wit, and a whole lot of love.
Let’s be real: it’s totally okay not to vibe with everyone. Not every relationship is going to be a match made in heaven. As Dita Von Teese puts it, “You might be the juiciest peach in the world, and someone still doesn’t like peaches.” And that’s fine! You don’t have to like everyone, but life is a whole lot brighter when you choose kindness, even toward the ones who rub you the wrong way. That’s still love—even if it’s for the people you’d rather keep at arm’s length.
But let’s get one thing straight: loving someone doesn’t mean putting up with their bad behavior. Sometimes love means setting boundaries that are rock-solid or even creating distance altogether. Forgiveness? Absolutely. Letting someone become a toxic force in your life? Nope. You can release your own hurt and judgment without holding on to them—or their drama.
When possible, give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s so easy to judge when you don’t know what they’re dealing with behind closed doors. Think about everything you go through that no one else sees. A little compassion goes a long way and might just be the secret sauce to making life a bit sweeter.
Luke 6:27-28 reminds us: “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.” Even when it’s hard, responding with love changes the game. Christ does this for us daily, loving us unconditionally, even when we mess up. So, if He can do it, we can give it a shot, right? Remember, we’re all lovable, mistakes and all. So is everyone else—yep, even the tough ones.
Zig Ziglar nailed it when he said, “You can get everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want.” That doesn’t mean selling out on your own values—it means leading with empathy. And guess what? It often opens doors you didn’t even know were there. You get even better things you never expected.
So, as we wrap up today’s saucy chat about loving those who challenge us, remember this: these relationships add flavor to life! By choosing kindness and compassion, we honor ourselves, reflect Christ’s teachings, and create a more vibrant world.
Next week, I’m serving up Part 4 of The Lasagna of Love Ability: Everyday Acts of Love! These are the secret ingredients—the tiny but powerful acts of kindness that season life with extra goodness. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it! So, keep living The Vibrant Life, and until next time, stay saucy, keep shining, and share the love!
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Thanks for tuning in to The Vibrant Life Podcast! As a one-woman show, I do it all—creating, researching, editing, and designing—because I truly love you, my friends. If you’d like to support the show, every little bit helps! You can donate via PayPal using @vibrantlifepodcast or Venmo @TheVibrantLifePodcast. There’s links in the show notes at emilyromrell.com. No pressure, just gratitude!
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