Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie

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Estimated Reading Time 2 Minutes

Rating: 5 out of 5.
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie

Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Reprint edition (December 23, 2003)

Paperback : 321 pages

ISBN: 978-1400045372

Thoughts:  This was a powerful read and the principles in it can change your life. The book is a guide on how to accept the realities of your life and change your thinking. I would compare it to a deeper take on the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

The book is a series of coaching transcripts with Byron Katie teaching “The Work” to various people struggling with some very hard things. The Work consists of asking yourself 4 simple questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without the thought?

It’s a fantastic practice in mindfulness.

First sentence: What I love about The Work is that it allows you to go inside and find your own happiness, to experience what already exists within you, unchanging, immovable, ever-present, ever-waiting.

Favorite Quote From the Book: A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Summary from Amazon.com:

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls ‘The Work.’ In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, ‘It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.’ Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. 

Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls ‘a lover of reality.’

 

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