Estimated Reading Time 9 Minutes
Hey You! I’m back, haha, did you miss me? Thanks for being here today. I’m thrilled that you are spending a few minutes here with me. I gotta say first off, my friends, I’m so sorry that The Vibrant Life Podcast was MIA last week. I haven’t missed an episode with y’all since I launched back in January, and it was a little painful that I didn’t do the show for you. I had an adventure and I’m going to tell you all about it. But first off, I just want to say thank you. I’ve said this before but it’s true. When I record a podcast I’m alone with my thoughts and what I’m trying to say, but somehow the connection comes through and I have a lot of love for you, my friends. Your support means so much. And I really felt like I missed a visit with a dear friend last week.
So you’re probably thinking, “Ok Emily, so what happened?”
Well, Peeps, my apartment flooded. I was out of my house most of the day last Friday, and when I got home around 10:30 pm, I discovered inches of water seeping through my carpet. The squelching sounds from my feet were crazy. And I felt like I was traipsing through a swamp in Florida or somewhere rather than in a small apartment in Utah. And I’m not a swearing person. My go-to malediction is “Crap.” which isn’t very classy I admit. My mom hates that word. But that is the word that came to my mind as I walked into a medium-sized disaster at the end of a long day.
So I called my landlords and let them know what was happening. They were great and came over right away and we got things sorted out. It turns out the main pipe from the street to the building burst. Ugh. I know. My furniture was okay and most of my possessions were undamaged, which was so lucky. But as things played out, I just kept thinking to myself, “What next?”
I bet you’ve had days like that, right? When you’re already dealing with a lot and yet another disaster strikes. Actually, it feels like that’s when unexpected trials happen the most, right, when you are in the midst of something difficult and then life hands you another heavy thing to hold. I guess it’s kind of like weightlifting. You have to add on weight in order to to get stronger, but holy moly, it can be a painful process.
I’ve debated back and forth in my mind and in my heart about how much I want to share about my struggles on this podcast with y’all. I put a lot of effort into staying positive and focusing on what truly makes a vibrant life. And it makes my life better when I choose to be as cheerful and optimistic as possible. There is already so much junk out there in the virtual void. I don’t find it useful to dwell on the negative side of things. And I really don’t want to come off as someone who complains or who focuses on problems. I strive to put good things out into the universe.
But I also want to be authentic and human. And the human experience includes pain and struggle as well as joy and love. If you are a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints, you may be familiar with the principle that there is opposition in all things. And I think I’ve talked before about how conflict is essential in any good story, especially in the real-life stories we are all living right now. Life isn’t supposed to be happy all the time. That would make a heck of a boring story.
I guess I just want to be clear that I’m not sharing my personal hardships with you looking for sympathy or to complain about my life. I have a great life, my friends. I am so blessed. And I think you’ll agree with me by the time we get to the end of this podcast.
Now that I got my disclaimer out of the way, let’s take a look back into the history of Emily Romrell. I’ve mentioned before that I struggle with depression and anxiety. I’ve struggled with these demons since I was about 12 years old. So that’s coming up on 24 years, peeps. A long time. But I’ve learned so much and I’ve come a long way on my personal development journey. In the last few years, I feel like I have gained the tools I need to manage my mental health pretty well. It’s a huge blessing that has taken a lot of effort on my part. But I’ve also had so much help from my family, friends, counseling, and church leaders etc. I still have my bad days once and a while with my mental health, but for the most part, I am in a good place now.
Well thank heaven for that, because during the last year or so, my physical health has really taken a hit. I’ve never experienced so much physically debilitating pain. I have dealt with bad headaches and migraines my whole life. And I have struggled with managing my energy and feeling lethargic and chronic fatigue. I thought most of that was in connection to depression and anxiety, but now I wonder if there has always been more to the story that I didn’t understand.
Anyway, over the last year or so things have deteriorated for me physically and I am not only dealing with fatigue, and insomnia, and headaches, but I am also experiencing intense nerve pain in my back and in my joints. It’s been so bad that I haven’t been able to work normal hours and I’ve had quite the run around with doctors and trying to figure out what is going on.
Side note: I just want to give a shout-out to all of the people who are suffering in ways that are not easily seen. I personally know how tough it can be with mental health issues and even physical issues where you seem to be okay on the outside but you hurt so deeply on the inside. I feel like I put up a good front most of the time in public. Not that I’m trying to be fake or whatever. But again I want to focus on the good things and also I don’t love being the center of attention. And I especially don’t want attention for things that are hard for me. Can you relate to that?
Moving forward, so I’m dealing with all of these health issues etc. and then my apartment is flooded. And I am literally thinking, “Crap. What next? What else do I have to figure out?” I don’t know how religious or spiritual you are my friend, but along with my formal prayers, I tend to have ongoing conversations with Heavenly Father in my head throughout the day. And I’m thinking, “Heavenly Father, I don’t know how much more I can take. Things are really starting to weigh me down. I’m getting close to drowning.”
The funny thing about these conversations with God in my mind is that sometimes I feel like I get answers pretty quickly and sometimes it takes more time. But I feel that Heavenly Father hears me and knows me. I haven’t always felt that way. There were periods in my past where I truly wondered if God was listening and if he cared. So to have the peace that He knows me and has my best interests in His heart. That in itself is a huge blessing.
Well, like Dory, when you’re in the thick of things all you can really do is just keep swimming. So I moved back in with my parents for a week. They live close to me which is another blessing. (Are you guys seeing a pattern here?). Also, the water in my apartment was turned off for a few days but I had a couple of emergency gallons of water in storage per the advice of my church leaders. So that was a blessing. The city had to dig a trench in the yard and fix the pipes but they didn’t have to tear up the concrete in my living room which would have meant a lot more work. So that was a blessing. Honestly, for how bad things were being displaced for only one week was amazing. And I had a bunch of friends and family who asked if I needed help and supported me. So. Many. Blessings.
So even though last week was crazy. This flood ended up being a reminder of how good my life really is. And honestly peeps, my apartment flooding was only an inconvenience. It could have been way worse. I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of it than it was. Really just a bunch of my stuff got wet and I had to move out for a week. No big deal. However, in the moment it felt like a minor disaster.
And that is why there was no podcast last week. I wasn’t prepared and emotionally I didn’t have the energy for it last week. But the experience was a good reminder of how important it is to prepare for things as much as possible.
You may be surprised to hear that this wasn’t the first time I’ve been displaced from my home. When I was twenty, I was living at home with my parents and we had a house fire. That time was definitely worse. I was working nights at the time and I have to admit that I missed church in favor of sleep on a very significant Sunday. Suddenly I woke up to the sound of someone shouting that there was a fire and smoke was filling my bedroom. I opened my door to flames and my brother and a neighbor helped pull me down the stairs and out of the house. Crazy, I know.
Our house had a lot of smoke and damage and basically had to be gutted from the inside out. So we were out of our home for I think about 9 months while that all got redone. But again So. Many. Blessings. Peeps. Just a couple of months prior to our fire, my dad increased the insurance so almost everything was covered. Neighbors came out of the woodwork to help us. We had Sunday dinner with friends and clothes and money donated within hours of the fire. We had a place to sleep that night in a hotel and within 2 days some friends let us stay in their basement until we found a better place. We actually found a house in the same neighborhood that we stayed in until the renovations from the fire were complete. We lost some possessions in the fire, but we learned the valuable lesson that things are just things. (That is an amazing lesson to take to heart, my friends.) And people and relationships are what matter most. I will never forget how so many people cared for us and loved us during that time.
Several years later a friend at work asked me why I never mentioned that I almost died in a house fire. I laughed because it’s not something that you bring up in normal conversation. But that was a trial that taught me so much.
I’m still dealing with my things and I know you are dealing with your things. As I get older, one thing I know for sure is that all of us are tested to our utmost. We have to be in order to reach our greatest potential. But the good news is that we have survived 100% of our hard days so far and we will continue to survive and eventually thrive. I have faith in a Savior who loves me and knows me and who loves and knows you. He paved a way for us to overcome all of our hardships. That faith and the hope I see in so many good people who are so willing to help. And focusing on the blessings that surround us everywhere. That is what keeps me afloat.
I know I’ve rambled a lot during this podcast but as I’ve reflected over the last week, and as I have sifted through my memories of hard times. I am so, so thankful for my life, for wonderful people that I love, for living in America with all of the conveniences we have when things go wrong, for church programs and leaders who are inspired and provide help when needed. We have so much. I think sometimes we are given floods or fires in our lives to reveal how much we have. The floods and fires either wash away or burn away the trivial things in life and show us what is most important. After that, we can see our way more clearly to a vibrant life.
Take care my friends and have a happy, happy Thanksgiving. I hope you have a beautiful week.
