Emily Romrell

Estimated Reading Time 10 Minutes

Hey You! My name is Emily Romrell and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. I had a great week and I hope you did too. I was able to take a spontaneous road trip with my brother and had a blast spending some quality time with him. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my family, how important it is, and how lucky I am. I have a lot to be thankful for and I hope you were able to recognize some of your blessings this last week as well.

This podcast has truly become a blessing in my life as well. I’ve been getting so much out of meditating and pondering about the different topics each week. If you feel like the podcast is adding value in your life, a review on iTunes or a quick recommendation to your friends would mean a lot.

1. A Clean House Equals A Clean Mind

Your surroundings mirror your mindset. I know for me anyway, when I am down and depressed or out of sorts, my house gets messy fast. Who wants to do the dishes or laundry when your mind and emotions are all jumbled up. It’s a classic downward spiral. First, you aren’t feeling well so you decide not to clean. Then your home gets dirty and cluttered and you get even more depressed. It’s much more difficult to think clearly or positively when you’re in an unwelcoming space, especially if that space is where you live. Your home should be a haven not a place of confusion.

The amazing thing though is that once you start putting the physical space around your back in order, your internal world somehow becomes more orderly as well. When I was a kid I hated doing dishes, but now even though it’s still maybe not my favorite thing, I find that cleaning the grime off my plates helps my soul feel less grimy too. And although I’m not the most organized person out there, I love organizing my home. I like having a place for everything and everything in its place. Not only does it make things easier to find and use, but I feel more in control of my life and my surroundings.

The next step after making sure your surroundings are clean and orderly, is to make your space beautiful. This isn’t always the case, but I found it super funny in college because the girl’s apartments were almost always decorated and the guys usually had blank walls. Maybe that’s just a generalization of the difference between men and women. I don’t know. But it’s interesting to me that 90 percent of the time we ended up hanging out at the girls’ apartments. They just felt a bit cozier. A beautiful atmosphere encourages creativity, it soothes worries that we walk in with from the outside world and succors our inward souls. Keeping things clean is the first step. The second is making your space beautiful.

There’s a great quote by Bette Midler where she says, “My idea of a superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.” I really love that because ultimately we are the heroes of our own lives and as we scrub the floors of our homes somehow we end up cleaning our inner floors as well.

2. When You Look Good, You Feel Good

When I was a kid we used to sing a song that I’m sure drove the adults crazy called You Can’t Ride In My Red Wagon. It was only one line that goes, “You can’t ride in my red wagon, axle’s broke and wheels are draggin.” Then we would shout, “Same song, second verse, (and then you’d feel in a blank way to sing the song like a British accent, or slow-motion, etc.) makes it worse.” Then obviously we’d sing the same sentence again in the chosen method. Sometimes I think Life likes to play games with us like this song. We will learn the same lesson or be sent the same message over and over again in different variations until it becomes a part of us. It can be annoying, but it also reminds us of what is truly important.

So as we peel down to the next layer in our Outward Expressions Onion, you will notice that this idea is similar to the last one. When you look good, you feel good. You don’t just want your home to be nice and clean. You want to be those things for yourself. Again when we’re experiencing inner turmoil sometimes the last thing we feel like doing is making the effort to dress nicely and look our best. And again it can be a downward spiral because when you don’t look great you will look at yourself in the mirror and perhaps feel even worse.

This is something that’s been exacerbated in the last year-plus as we’ve all dealt with the Covid 19 Pandemic. We went from a world where a majority of us had to get up and go out somewhere to work, to working from home in sweatpants. Don’t get me wrong, I love comfy clothes and sweat pants are amazing. But when you aren’t required to get up and look your best, it’s easy not to. And I’ve noticed that when I dress lazily, my work ethic is lazier as well.

I love the story that I heard of a woman who was a business professional who decided to change things up in her life and become a stay-at-home mom. Every day before she got the kids up and going, she made a point of looking her best. She put makeup on and did her hair and wore nice clothes. When her husband remarked on this, not in a critical way, but commenting that she didn’t necessarily need to be so put together when she was just watching kids all day. Her reply was that being a stay-at-home mother was her job now and she wanted to prepare for it each morning just like she did when she worked at the office. When she looked nice, she was nicer to her kids and calmer in how she handled her day.

Now, I’m a big believer in a happy medium, and a few lazy days here and there can be magical. Sometimes just putting any clothes on, even sweats can be a success. I’ve been there. So please don’t think I’m passing judgment on anyone.

But here’s the truth: you can literally feel the difference when you put in the effort to look your best. It gives you more confidence. And the people around you treat you better when you are clean and presentable. There’s an old saying about dressing for the job you want. The same is true for dressing for the mood that you want.

I am not a fashion person at all. Growing up I was a tomboy and although parts of me are very feminine, I’ve had a difficult time embracing my feminine beauty. I’m still working on that. But I’m a sucker for a power blazer or a great jacket. I love cute sweaters in the fall and fun floral blouses in the spring. Nothing feels better than a great-looking pair of jeans, and I like a simple classic look with my favorite pearl earrings and natural makeup. But I know when I look good, I feel better. (And for you guys out there, ZZ Top had it right. Every girl’s crazy about a sharp-dressed man.)

I think the thing to remember is to be true to who you are and reflect that in your appearance. Some of us like loud and wacky clothes, some of us are more conservative. That doesn’t matter. Make the effort to look your best. It is an outward expression of the you inside. There’s a famous quote by George Bernard Shaw, “Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” I think that summarizes this idea eloquently.

3. Fake It Till You Make It & You’ll Make It Real

The last layer of our Outward Expression Onion deals with body language and other behaviors. When your struggling with your mental or emotional health, sometimes the last thing you want to deal with is other people. We tend to avoid eye contact with others if we go out at all. We might slouch or cross our legs and arms to send out the signal that we are not open to interaction with others. The way we sit, the way we walk, and the way we hold ourselves all shout messages to those around us about who we are and what’s going on inside of us.

There’s the old saying, “Fake It Till You Make It.” I never really like that phrase growing up. I try to be a genuine person, so being fake really rubs me the wrong way. Ironically, I also never wanted to let anyone know I was struggling with depression or anxiety when I was younger, so I put up walls and never wanted to be vulnerable with anyone. So I guess that goes to show I’m as flawed as the next person. Now I have no problem telling people I deal with depression or anxiety. I’m all about owning your story. But I still struggle with the walls and the vulnerability. Go Figure. But as I’ve grown older, I see this old idea of faking it until you make it in a new light.

The mind-body connection is so powerful, Peeps. I think about Tony Robbins and how he does this thing where he has his audience jump up and down to literally change their state of being and be more receptive to the messages he teaches. It works in both directions. When your body is active and energized it encourages your mind to be active and energized. When your mind is depressed and lethargic, so is your body.

I often think about physics and how it relates to mental and spiritual things as well. I’m no scientist. But almost everyone has heard of Newton’s first law of motion which states: An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. This is talking about inertia. But not only does this law apply to inanimate objects. It applies to us as human beings. When you are feeling down and out if you can put in the effort to physically get in motion. You’ll find your spirits improve immensely.

The same goes for smiling. I try to smile at people as I walk by them even if they’re strangers. I am not super outgoing, believe it or not. I’m pretty introverted. But I want to be kind and my mom always taught me I should smile at people. Even when we’re wearing masks we recognize the smiles in the eyes of those around us. The fascinating thing is that if I’m grocery shopping or whatever and I’m not feeling great. I still try to smile at people and by the end of the excursion, I usually feel pretty good.

I read in a book once that every time you walk through a doorway you should straighten your shoulders. It’s a reminder to be confident and because you are just entering a room the impression you will give others as they look at you will be of confidence. Another thing I’ve worked on in the recent past is my walk. I tend to be clumsy and kind of clunky when I walk and I’ve done some work to try to walk in a more feminine way. I’m definitely still learning. But it makes a big difference. And it’s not faking it if your motivation is sincere. You can literally force your body to act in ways that encourage your mind to follow. Then you make it real.

So that’s a lot to think about for this week, but it’s all connected. The outward expressions in our lives truly are a reflection of what is going on inside of us. And if we are unhappy with the current picture, we have the ability to take action and change. It takes effort and practice, but it is so worth it. You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Just peel back one layer at a time like the beautiful little onion that you are. (FYI, I actually really don’t care for onions in my food, but I love the metaphor.) My challenge to you is to take a look at the outward expressions you currently have in your life and take a quick pulse on what is working and what isn’t. You can do it and you can Live The Vibrant Life!

Again, just a quick reminder that I’d love a review on iTunes or a shoutout to your friends that might enjoy the podcast. Let’s keep this community growing. Thanks, Peeps. Have a fantastic week!