Emily Romrell

Estimated Reading Time 8 Minutes

Hey You! Happy Friday. I’m Emily Romrell and, You Guys, this is episode 25 of The Vibrant Life Podcast! It’s crazy that we made it to twenty-five episodes already. It’s blowing my mind a little bit. I guess it goes to show what can happen when you put out a consistent effort over time right? Amazing things can happen and I feel like I have grown so much over the last several months since I’ve put this podcast out into the universe. I hope you’ve been able to grow and learn along with me and I hope you’ll hang in here with me as we continue the journey together.

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In honor of the twenty-fifth episode, we’re discussing one of my favorite ideas today. Be A Warrior Not A Worrier. This is one of the many personal mottos or themes that I’ve adopted in my life and it’s a powerful one. Believe me, as someone who could be described as a chronic worrier, I’ve learned that sometimes the only way to defeat worry or anxiety is through action. And sometimes that can take a heroic effort.

I love the arc and development of Xena’s character. She starts off as a bad guy. Xena was a warlord who went around destroying villages and hurting people. But after she runs into Hercules, she has a change of heart. She realizes how much pain and suffering she’s caused and it becomes her mission in life to change. She is going to be a better person. Now instead of crushing the little guys, she defends them.

She doesn’t make excuses about her past, either. She owns her story. Many times throughout her adventures, Xena suffers because of her past actions. But she just keeps moving forward. She chooses, again and again, to do the right thing over the easy thing. Xena’s story is about redemption.

You can probably guess where I’m going with this, right? It’s up to each of us to be the warriors in our lives. We all can choose to own our story. We all can choose to do the right thing over the easy thing. We all can choose to keep moving forward. We all can choose to be a better person today than we were yesterday. To me, that is the definition of a warrior.

In 2018, I found myself at a crossroads in life. I was extremely overweight, depressed, and incredibly discouraged. I honestly was in a pretty dark place and I wouldn’t wish those feelings on anyone, although I’m not alone. I know that there are many people out there going through similar things and I just want to say to you, “Hang in there. There is hope for you. There is a warrior inside of you waiting to emerge.”

But anyway, back in 2018, I was really struggling. So I went to talk to my bishop at the time and he recommended that I try counseling. I’d tried seeing a counselor before and wasn’t super optimistic but I decided to try again. And things began to change for me. I started really putting in the work to change my life. Then in July of the same year, I decided to have weight loss surgery. I decided that I was going to do whatever I could to get healthy. So I continued to move forward and since then my life has changed. Not only did I lose a lot of the physical weight I was carrying around, but I also have been able to let go of a lot of emotional weight as well.

I’m not telling you this to toot my own horn, my friends. Believe it or not, I don’t love talking about myself. But if I can overcome hard things, you can too. And You guys, I was terrified to make those changes. It took all the guts I could muster to go to therapy again. Same thing for my surgery. And I still have hard things in my life that take pretty much everything I’ve got that I’m currently working on.

There’s a great quote from Zig Ziglar, “F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” I love that, and here’s the truth: if you run away, your fears will always find you because wherever you end up, there YOU are. But when you overcome your fears, you are transformed into a stronger and better version of yourself. And your old fears no longer have power over you.

Alrighty, I think we have a good idea of what it takes to be a warrior. But what about the worry part of our topic. Be a warrior, not a worrier. I believe worry or anxiety is a unique kind of fear. To explain this I’m going to paraphrase something that I recently heard from Jody Moore. She has a fantastic podcast called, Better Than Happy that you should totally check out. And she has an episode specifically on Anxiety where she covers this idea.

Anxiety is a secondary emotion. So when you find yourself feeling anxious, if you do some digging you’ll find the true emotion underneath. This underlying feeling might be shame, physical or mental pain, embarrassment, boredom, or a host of other emotions. We become anxious when we fight or avoid this first emotion due to fear. So if we are afraid of feeling shame, physical or mental pain, embarrassment, boredom, or a host of other emotions, that fear of the feeling is anxiety or worry.

Jody Moore also points out that there are a lot of factors that contribute to anxiety that might not fall under this first explanation. These factors include biology, chemical imbalances, diet, and nutrition, etc. It’s important to understand that there is no shame if you find yourself dealing with this type of anxiety. I am personally on medication that helps me with my anxiety. Please talk to a doctor if you need to. I think the world is slowly getting better about accepting mental health issues, but there can still be a lot of stigma around it. I am a big believer that you deserve the same consideration when you have a mental health problem as when you have any other physical medical issue. Channel your inner warrior and get the help that you need.

That being said, even if you do have other factors contributing to your worry, this kind of thought work will help you.

One of the things about warriors is that they take action. They get things done. This is a major secret in overcoming worry in our lives. Action is an antidote to anxiety. Think about it. Where does worry live? Inside our heads, right? We get all wound up thinking about things and worrying about all of the “What If’s” that might happen. I am extremely familiar with this place in my own brain. And it can paralyze you with fear. The only way that I know to beat it is to literally take action. Baby steps if necessary. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward in your life. Call the person you are afraid to confront. Accept the consequences of your actions that you might be trying to avoid. Do one thing today that will make your life a little better tomorrow. Choose the right thing over the easy thing. Be a warrior.

Another quote that I love is from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who is an expert on grief and suffering. She said, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

It is often difficult to be grateful for the trials in our lives. But one thing that I am thankful for is the compassion that I feel towards others that comes from my experience with the pain and suffering in my own life. I think that if we can find meaning in our challenges, and use the lessons we earn from those struggles to help others, then we can say we’ve won the battle.

Back in 2018, after I had my surgery. I decided that I wanted to be a warrior in my life. I actually bought a bracelet with the words: “Be a Warrior” and I wore it nearly every day for about a year. I still wear that bracelet when I need a little extra reminder or added strength on hard days. Symbols like that can be powerful.

I want to tell you about something awesome that happened just a couple of months later. It’s one of the tender mercies that happened for me that year and one of the best moments in my life.

I think we’ve established that I’m a geek or a nerd and I’m proud of it. Well, that year I found out that Lucy Lawless, who plays Xena, was coming to Utah for our FanX convention which is our version of comic-con. I almost cried, my friends.

I think Lucy Lawless is pretty great not only because she plays a warrior princess on tv, but she also works closely with Green Peace and does a lot to save the environment. She is a person who in real life stands up for things and works to make the world a better place.

Anyway, I had the chance to take a picture with Lucy Lawless and I talked with her for a few moments when I had her sign it for me. She was awesome. I told her a little bit about how I’d struggled and how she helped to inspire me to be a warrior in my life.

Guys, she literally stood up and hugged me across the table. She told me how amazing that was and I’m not kidding there were tears sparkling in her eyes as well as mine. My sister was with me and she can back me up.

I know it might seem silly. But it meant so much to me. I’m grateful for people like Lucy Lawless who embody fictional characters that we can relate to and look up to. And who also make a difference in real life. I’m grateful for the lessons that I’ve learned from the challenges in my life. I paid the price to learn these things but it was worth it. I’m still learning and I’m still paying the price. But I know what a difference it makes to fight the good fight.

So my invitation to you this week is to take some time and think about what you are afraid of. What are you worried about? What is giving you some anxiety? Then maybe think of some baby steps you can take toward overcoming those fears. I promise you that if you do the work, you’ll feel a lot better about things. You can be a warrior, not a worrier. And when you choose that path, you’ll find your life is that much more vibrant.

Thanks for listening, Peeps. Have a fabulous week.