Emily Romrell

Estimated Reading Time 7 Minutes

But before we get into the deliciousness of the topic today, here’s a bonus nugget of wisdom for you. If you are struggling with something difficult this might help. I know it does me. Make an honest commitment with yourself to do something productive at least once a week, even if you don’t feel like it. For me, it’s this podcast. And I want to thank you, my friends, for hanging out and spending this time with me.

I didn’t expect to talk about this today, but I want to be as authentic as possible. And I’m feeling the push to share, so here you go. Last night was painful for me. I mean physically painful. I maybe got three hours of sleep and I was tossing and turning forever just trying to find a position where I didn’t hurt. I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and it’s been a challenge figuring out how to manage things.

And I got frustrated. And when I’m emotional I tend to have this running conversation with Heavenly Father in my head. I believe there are many forms of prayer. I do pray formally on my knees and everything, but a lot of times I’m just sending conversational thoughts to Heavenly Father as they come. And last night it went something like this:

“Why do I always have to hurt so bad, especially after I do something positive? (Side note: I had a fun time hanging out with friends earlier in the day.) “I feel like I am always paying a price in energy and in pain after I make an effort to do things.” And my thoughts continued in that vein for a while.

Side note: sometimes I feel like I am answered in these conversational prayers quickly. A response thought will pop into my head and the communication moves forward. But sometimes not. Last night it was not.

So this morning I was trying to work up energy to do this podcast, and I didn’t feel like doing anything. I had a very slow start to the day. I make an effort to have good energy for these shows and my energy was low. But another secret I have learned is that once you actually start and take action things get a little better. So I got all my stuff out and I started thinking about what I want to share with all of you.

And I started thinking about my message last week, The Wonder Of Eve and how it was all about if you have a dark night that it’s a precursor to something wonderful. This was a big reminder to me in that we need to be mindful about what we put out into the Universe, right? Talk about giving yourself a lesson. So that gives me hope that maybe some good things will come out of my current struggles.

And..Oh My Heck, Guys. Right as have been working on this and pondering on why things are hard, my friend just texted that she is bringing me lunch today. So I guess there is the proof that Heavenly Father is aware of us and that many times he uses people in our lives to show us how much he loves us.

Okay, that was quite a tangent that I didn’t plan on. Wow. However, what I really want to talk about is cookies. More specifically a story that I heard a long time ago about a bag of cookies. I don’t remember exactly where I heard this story but it’s stuck with me over the years and it goes like this:

A woman was sitting on a bench next to a man that she didn’t know. I can’t remember exactly where. I think it was the airport or maybe a park bench or something. But it was a public place, and she was eating her favorite treat which was a bag of chocolate chip cookies. The bag seemed to be lighter at one point than she expected and she looked down only to see the man reach down and take a cookie out her bag and eat it.

The woman was flabbergasted. How dare he just reach down and eat one of her cookies! But it happened again. The man reached down and grabbed another cookie out of the bag. Now the woman became angry. But she was also shy. She didn’t want to confront a strange man that she didn’t know. So she took the passive-aggresive approach. She grabbled two cookies out of the bag and stuffed them into her mouth.

Well, maybe you can imagine how the next few minutes played out. The woman gobbled up as many delicious chocolate-chip cookies as she could so that man would have less to grab. The man seemed unperturbed. He had a very calm demeanor and even smiled at the woman a few times. This only made her more angry. In her mind he seemed to be laughing at her.

The climax came when only a single cookie remained. The woman was about to grab for it but the man smiled at her again and distracted her. He reached down, took the last cookie, broke it in half, and shared it with her. Then the man stood up, bowed slightly, threw the empty bag in a nearby trash can and walked away.

The woman just sat there in amazement at this man who seemed to have no boundaries or respect for other people’s snacks. Finally however, she stood up to leave. When she grabbed her purse that was sitting next to her, she heard a familiar crackling sound. There where she had left it was a nearly full bag of chocolate-chip cookies. She had eaten the man’s cookies. And amazingly, he didn’t seem angry at all. Even though he must have wondered at her audacity, he simply smiled at her and even broke the last cookie in half to share.

The woman went home humbled and detemined to live with more generosity of spirit.

So, my friends, when you think about the two people in this story who are you most like? What would you do if a stranger suddenly started eating your favorite snack? What if it was something worse? What if someone stole something important to you? What if a different behavior by someone around you was hurtful or offended you in some way? It’s worth pondering on.

A while back I did a podcast about being offended. It’s Episode 33. To Be Or Not To Be Offended. I guess today is a follow-up to that one. Like I mentioned before, we all have our pinch points and things that set us off. But what I want to focus on today is more about that generosity of spirit.

It’s the holidays, and this is the time of year where you see a lot more people on the street pan-handling or begging for money. Although, there are people who need help on the streets during all times of the year. Just think for a minute about your reaction to these people. I’m not judging. I simply think this is a relevant example. And I admit that sometimes I don’t want to interact with a stranger holding a cardboard sign. But most of the time my heart goes out to them. I don’t always have the means to give anything materially, but I can always give them a smile, right? Where is your heart at?

I love that song Allstar by Smashmouth from back in 90’s or early 2000’s. I’m not sure. But it’s a fun song and has those familiar lyrics: “Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place. I said, “Yup” what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself. And we could all use a little change.”

Here’s the truth. When you’re generous you feel good. If you don’t want to do it for others, it makes sense just to do good things for yourself. And there is the obvious generosity of giving like in these examples where you give money or food to people who need it.

But then you can have a generous heart like the man in the cookie story. If you feel slighted, or offended, or angry, it’s easy to start blaming others. But if you can take a pause and consider where the other person might be coming from, things might go a lot easier.

One of my favorite personal development books is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz which I know I’ve mentioned before. Please read it if you haven’t already. It’s a lifechanger. But the second agreement he teaches is to not take anything personally. Other people’s actions aren’t about you. Their actions are brought about by their own thoughts and beliefs. Once you understand this concept, there is so much freedom from anger, and irritation, and being offended. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Be Generous.

You know I find it ironic. Where I’m from in Utah people literally go around giving each other cookies like crazy. We give our neighbors cookies. We bring cookies to friends when their sick. We make cookies for bake sales. Mom’s have cookies ready for the kids when they get home from school. We even leave cookies out for Santa. But if someone tries to take a cookie that we didn’t offer, we get huffy. Does that really make sense? I mean, there are soo many cookies!

So the challenge this week is to take a look at your life and see where you could maybe be a little more giving. And giving physical help is amazing and so needed. But again another way to go is to think about where you could be more giving in spirit. This is the time of year when goodwill toward men is supposedly at its strongest. Let’s put that to the test. Now, go eat a cookie, and Live The Vibrant Life!