Estimated Reading Time 6 Minutes
Hey You! it’s Friday, I’m Emily Romrell, and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. I hope you’re having a lovely day. I hope you’re staying safe and choosing to stay positive during this crazy time in the world.
You know, I think I’ve used the word crazy to describe life so often that crazy seems normal. In the last two years, society has changed fundamentally and we’re all still adjusting and figuring things out. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel all the things. But I also think it’s important to stay positive. Society has a bad habit of focusing on all of the problems and ramping up as much drama as possible. But Peeps, we are surrounded by beauty and goodness. We just have to open our eyes and our minds to see it.
During the last few weeks, I’ve often thought of my cousin, Ben, who passed away in 2007 at just twenty years old. We were close and I have so many great memories with him. Ben taught me a lot about life as he dealt with a lot of “craziness” during his battle with kidney disease. He chose to be happy in the midst of incredibly difficult circumstances. His motto was “Attitude Is Everything” and he was one of the happiest and most joyful people I’ve ever known. I miss him. It’s been almost 15 years since Ben died, but I can still see him clearly in my mind. And one of my favorite things about him was his smile.
We all know people who light up the world with their smiles, don’t we? One of the best feelings in the world is when you see a loved one and you see their face light up as they share a signature smile meant just for you. A simple smile can feel you right up with warm fuzzies. And if you get a hug too, whoa baby. It’s magic.
So what can we do to become that kind of person? That’s something to think about, right?
The truth is, I am not the most outgoing person in the world. Go figure, right? I don’t really consider myself to be shy, but I am definitely introverted and I need my space to recharge after social situations. I’m working on putting myself out into social scenes more often. But here’s one thing I know for sure: if you want to make a connection with someone, a good way to start is with a genuine smile.
I think it comes down to attention. As humans, we associate attention with love. Because ultimately attention is our life. We have a limited amount of time on earth and we spend our time paying attention to things according to our priorities. And a sincere smile shared with someone connects the two of you in a brief moment of time. That smile says, “I see you. I’m paying attention to you. You are important.” A genuine smile confirms that we make a positive impact in the life of the smiler.
My mom is similar to me when it comes to socializing. She is super friendly and loves everyone but I wouldn’t describe her as a social butterfly. However, I remember my mother sharing this concept with me when I was small and it’s a lesson she learned from her mother, my grandma. She makes a point to always smile and say hi to people when we see them in various places, particularly in the grocery store. She says it’s just part of being a good neighbor and friend. No matter where you are if you see someone you know, look them in eyes and smile. Say hi, if you’re close enough. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if it takes some effort. Show consideration for the people within your circle of influence. That lesson has always stayed with me.
You can tell a lot from a person’s smile. We can sense if a smile is sincere or if it’s plastered on someone’s face out of obligation. We see silent laughter in a smile within a friend’s eyes. We can recognize someone smiling through boredom. And we can see the pain behind a smile when someone we care about is hurting.
You know, we talk about mind reading like it’s this magical skill that superheroes have. But the truth is humans are fairly good mind readers. But we’re so used to it and it comes so naturally that we’ve become complacent. We can read expressions on our loved one’s faces and know exactly what they are thinking. We read smiles and interpret their meanings every single day. It’s amazing.
So what does it mean to have a ready smile? For me, it means that I’m ready and actively looking for things to smile about. Maybe it’s a person that I get so smile with, or something beautiful in the world around me, or something silly that brings out a smirk, I’m paying attention.
I’m cheesy and I love to make silly comments and jokes. I love puns and riddles. I have a sort of inside joke with my sisters and cousins where I’ll try to keep a straight face and I’ll remark that I’m always serious because it’s ridiculous. I love to joke around.
Another thing I’ve inherited from my mom is singing. I have enough songs in my head now that if you say a phrase or a word in the right way and at the right time, a song will pop out. Music is so relatable and can express so much. I find it pretty hard to sing without smiling.
That’s part of having a ready smile. Don’t take life too seriously. Obviously, there are times when we do need to be serious and respectful. But so many of us as adults have lost some of the joy in our daily grind. Channel your inner child and be playful. Look at the world with that wonder in your eyes and smile about it.
I do think it’s imperative to be genuine though. Don’t go walking around with a fake smile on your face. People see right through that and putting up that figurative wall takes its toll. Here’s the truth though. You can pull out a sincere smile to share with someone no matter what emotion you may be feeling if you put the effort in. It’s all about the eyes funnily enough. A real smile starts in your mouth but ends in your eyes.
If I’m having a hard day and don’t feel much like smiling, that’s okay. We all have those days. But if I see someone I know I will usually dig down in my chest and pull out a grin and I will intentionally smile with my eyes at them. I bet you know what I mean. You can feel it. Sometimes, I will smile and then maybe choose not to hang around too long if my energy is low or whatever. But the fascinating thing is that when I do start smiling at people, I generally start to feel better. Because when you have that moment of connection with someone, it’s a two-way street. You’re giving attention to them, but they are also sharing their attention and love with you. So you are mutually showing each other that you’re important.
So, that’s another piece of having a ready smile. Make an effort to genuinely smile at people. Start with the people you know, but don’t stop there. How many times has a smile from a stranger brightened your day? The exchange can literally take seconds, but the impact that it leaves can be lasting. Be that person who is brave enough to look everyone in the eye and smile.
Sometimes, when I close my eyes I can still see the face of my cousin, Ben, smiling at me and encouraging me, and just sharing that special friendship that we had. And I can close my eyes and see the smiling faces of other important people in my life. Those smiles are precious to me and I keep them safely tucked away in my heart.
So my friends, the challenge this week is to keep your smile ready. Be ready to share your signature smile with the people in your life, and have a ready smile for all of the silly simple little things that make life worth living. That’s a big part of what a vibrant life is all about.
Until next time, my friends, have a fabulous week!
