Emily Romrell

Estimated Reading Time 7 Minutes

Hey you! Welcome to the Vibrant Life Podcast. I’m Emily Romrell and it’s a beautiful day here in Utah. I had a great week. Last weekend we had a Girl’s Getaway down in St. George. All the women on my Mom’s side of the family got together and just had a good time. We climbed some rocks, went bowling, played cards, made some crafts, and more importantly made some good memories. Family is so important and I’m so lucky to have amazing women in my family that I love and look up to.

I hope you’re loving the podcast as much as I am. It’s been a good thing for me to reflect and ponder on the content each week. If you like what you’re hearing, a review on iTunes or Spotify would be amazing. Thanks for helping me reach more people and get this community growing.

Alrighty, now that the business is out of the way, let’s get down to why we’re here. And that is The Deep Yes or No. Think for a minute about when you were little, or think about the little children that you know. How do they react when you tell them good news? They jump up and down and yell YES! or Yay which is the same difference. Now, think about how kids react when you tell them bad news. They yell NO! and their cute little faces scrunch up. You may or may not have a tantrum on your hands. (Side note: Props to all of you parents out there. I don’t have children and I know that being a parent is the hardest job there is. Most of you are doing better than you know. So here’s a shout-out to keep up the good work!)

I have always loved children. I love their innocence and their wonder. And I think they are more in tune with their inner selves than many adults. They haven’t mastered their emotions, which is an important thing to learn. But I love that they are completely true to themselves. Kids are honest. Sometimes they ask indelicate questions, which can be hilarious. But you always know where they stand because they follow their gut. As we grow older, many times we lose that in order to fit in and survive in society.

But deep down we all have an innate sense of what is right and what is wrong. We all have a conscience and that is a part of the deep yes or no, but there’s more to it. Humans have a deep sense of what is true and what is not true. When we hear something that is true, our first response is an inward yes. Think of the spark of light that comes into someone’s countenance as they understand a new concept. It could be a math principle, spiritual knowledge, or anything in between. But that light that comes into a person’s eyes is the soul saying yes. I get a similar feeling when I’m writing and a line feels just right or when my favorite song comes on. The soul knows what works and wants to say yes.

In contrast, if something is inherently wrong, our first response is an inward no. When you hear sad stories on the News, When you are about to fall or see someone else fall, even when it’s something silly like getting a bad card in a game, your initial response is almost always no. In fact, the first words we often say are, “Oh, no!”

It’s important to listen more carefully to our inner voices and trust our instincts; just like little children do. This empowers us to say yes or no when it really counts. Then we won’t be caught up in emotional turmoil by saying yes or no for the wrong reasons.

Side Note: Nine times out of ten if you ask me for help, I’d be thrilled to do anything I could for you. Sincerely. I think most people are like that. If you walked up to a stranger and asked them for help the odds would be in your favor. I have to tell you guys a quick story.

In the days before smartphones or Uber, I was eighteen and in school at BYU Idaho. My immediate family lives in Utah, but my grandmother and cousins lived close by. One night I had been to my grandmother’s house for dinner and stayed late visiting. So it was after 10pm when I decided to drive home to my apartment. I drove a small golden Hydundai that I named Lola, but for the life of me I can’t remember the model right now. But it was an old car with a lot of miles, but it got me from place to place. But this night was the night Lola died. My car broke down on the middle of a dark road in Annis, Idaho. I had a cell phone, but I’d lost it the day before so I had no way to call for help. Now, this is out on a country highway, so it was dark, and my only option were people living in the nearby houses.

So I left Lola and timidly walked up to the closest house in my flip-flops. But before I could knock on the door a giant black dog jumped out of the shadows growling and chased me away. Luckily he didn’t chase me beyond their yard. Unfortunately, I lost my flip-flops in the wet grass. So now, I’m barefoot, in shorts and a t-shirt, with no phone and a dead car. This time I tried the house across the street. When a woman opened the door and I saw the kerflummoxed expression on her face. I have never felt so pitiful. But this lady was so kind and let me in her home. She went across the street and rescued my shoes. My grandma was old and didn’t feel able to drive in the dark, and my cousins that lived close were away from home. So I ended up staying at that family’s house for about 2 hours. It was after midnight when my family was finally able to rescue me. During that time, the husband looked at my car, they gave me snacks, and I even had family prayer with them. I don’t remember their names but I do remember their genuine willingness to help me. They didn’t act put out even though I was a stranger and it was late at night. I could tell they were happy to do what they could for me. That example of kindness will stay with me for the rest of my life.

So yeah, people are good. I believe in humanity and I think that’s important to remember with all the negativity in the world right now. But another thing I know is that humans don’t like false things. We sense when something is fake and it’s very off-putting. Because same thing, we can sense the deep yes or no coming from the other person whether they want to show that to us or not.

Many times we may be asked to do something and the only reason we say yes is out of obligation. Maybe you don’t want to buy Girl Scout cookies, (I mean that’s a little crazy, but maybe your working on avoiding sugar. If so, good on ya.) Maybe you don’t have the time to drive a friend to the airport, or you don’t want to watch your neighbor’s kids. We think it’s rude if we say no, but if we say a grudging yes, most of the time we will have some negative baggage that comes with that yes. We think about the inconvenience and what we would rather be doing. So our minds and hearts really aren’t in the best place.

Again, help if you can. Most of the time you will be sincere in your desire to do good for others. Just take a quick minute to listen to your inner voice and ask the question. Is it a deep yes, or a deep no? Either option is a valid answer. Do what is best for you.

The other side of a deep yes or no is fear. Many times we let fear stop us from saying a deep yes to new experiences and opportunities. We might ask ourselves, “Do I really want to go on that freakishly high rollercoaster?” The inner voice says yes, but fear says no. Do you want to travel to a new place? Do you want to change jobs? Do you want to take dancing lessons? Do you want to write stories? Do you want to run a marathon? Do you want um…start a podcast, haha. The inner voice says yes, but fear says no. It’s just as important to say yes to the right things as it is to say no to the wrong things.

I encourage you to take a little time and consider how often you are looking inside and asking if what you do is in response to a deep yes or a deep no. Also, recognize those joyful moments when your soul says yes to happy things. Be gentle with yourself when hard things happen and your soul says, “Oh, no!”. These are the moments that make life precious and you guessed it, Vibrant. I hope you have a great week everybody. Check out General Conference if that feels like a deep yes, and as always, Live The Vibrant Life.