Estimated Reading Time 9 Minutes
Hey You! Believe it or not, I’m back. That’s right, I’m Emily Romrell and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. It’s been several months since the last episode and I’d like to thank all of the listeners and supporters of the show for your patience. Life is an adventure and I’m the first to admit that I’m still learning how to navigate everything. But the amazing part of life is that you get to keep trying, you get to keep moving forward toward your potential, and as long as you don’t give up, success is inevitable.
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So, the title of this episode is Back In The Saddle, and that’s pretty straightforward I guess. But I don’t want to be negligent about the significance of what it means. It hurts when we fall, in fact, it’s usually very painful and can be traumatic. It takes guts to pick yourself up and get back on the horse. Getting back in the saddle is a common saying and we know it means to keep trying after a setback, but not all of us have literally been on a horse.
I’m from Orem, Utah which is a suburban, college town, but it’s not too far from rural areas. Also, I have family in Idaho who have horses. My dad grew up on a farm in Idaho, and my uncle still runs it. I have other cousins who raise horses, and actually, my sister who has been obsessed forever recently just bought her first horse. Go figure, right? So I have been on a horse once or twice and I am around them occasionally. They’re absolutely beautiful creatures and they are extremely intelligent. They are also very big.
My cousin told me once that a horse can sense your heartbeat from about six feet away. They are sensitive to your emotions, and they are powerful creatures. Riding a horse is a unique experience. Unlike driving a car or a bike, there are no steering wheels or handles right in front of you. Everything is underneath you. It’s quite a feeling to see the world from a higher vantage point and you sort of feel like your sitting in the air, until you realize it’s not air, it’s a thousand pounds of muscle. It can be intimidating but also thrilling. And that’s just getting into the saddle. You haven’t begun the ride yet.
When you go slowly on a horse, when it’s simply walking, it’s easy to stay on, but your shoulders amble from side to side with each step. If the horse bends its neck, you feel tippy. It’s a fun beginning but it’s just that, a beginning. When you go a little faster into a trot, it’s very bouncy and more difficult to stay on. It can be jarring. You move a little faster, but it’s not too comfortable. But if you go just a little bit faster into a lope, the ride is much smoother. From my limited experience, that’s where the magic happens. When you are in a lope, you cover more ground and the ride is more synergized. It’s easier for you and the horse to move forward together. That’s where sitting in the saddle becomes more natural.
Okay Peeps, I know this metaphor is running long but I’m a sucker for analogies. And this is a good one because here’s the truth my friends: you are going to fall down and fall short many times in any endeavor worth falling in love with. See what I did there? Embrace the cheesiness guys, it’s cute!
One of the best writers and motivators slash success gurus out there is Steven Pressfield. In his book The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, Pressfield explains, “Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you’re feeling massive Resistance, the good news is, it means there’s tremendous love there too. If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything.” This is great news because when we feel our hearts pounding as we start meaningful ventures or adventures in our lives, we will know we’re on the right track. (Side note: please go read that book at your earliest convenience. It’s only 162 pages and it’s a life changer. I’ll throw up a link here in the show notes.)
That being said, as we pursue important goals it often seems that the haters whether real or imagined can sense our pounding hearts and we might be fearful of them taking advantage of our emotions. A new project might feel very much like a powerful beast that we don’t know how to control. Beginning something new can be intimidating but also very thrilling. And that’s just getting started, my friends. Sound familiar? You haven’t begun to experience the ride.
The experience of learning to ride a horse is not dissimilar to learning to ride a bike, right? Or learning to walk. Beginners are pretty much guaranteed to fall several times before they find their balance and that’s comforting because we can be gentle with ourselves and know that falls, bumps, and bruises are expected. They don’t mean anything has gone wrong, in fact, they mean the opposite. Because what are we going to do? Yep, we are going to hop right back into that saddle and keep going.
As we get situated, we will need to start slow. This is good we can stay on course and go step by step. Yet, we may discover that a slow pace might cause us to swing wide in our choices causing us to pivot more than absolutely necessary. When things take a dive, we may tip over. That’s okay. We’re beginners, we’ve got this!
As we learn to move forward a little faster in our endeavors, things might start to feel bumpy, but we will gain more ground. We may get more saddle-sore at this point because we’re using figurative muscles that haven’t been used this way before. We’ll still fall off periodically but less often. We’re coming into our own here. We are gaining experience.
Then the magic happens. We learn to go just a little bit faster. We lengthen our stride just a bit more. Suddenly things level out and the journey is much smoother. Things synergize and become more natural. We are much less likely to take a tumble, still, tumbles may happen. Life would be a lot less fun and a heck of a lot less meaningful without a surprise now and then. Conflict is what makes a story worth reading. But for the most part, we will be at home in the saddle.
Everyone is thrown off their groove sometimes in this life, everyone. Examples abound, but they may include: bad news, canceled plans, good things we expected to come our way don’t happen, and loved ones may get hurt or even hurt us. Maybe we find ourselves in a painful breakup or losing a dear friend. We often lose relationships in other ways than death. Maybe we lose our job. Maybe we find ourselves dealing with major health issues: physical or mental or both. I mean, Frank Sinatra said it best, “That’s Life. That’s what all the people say You’re riding high in April, shot down in May”
That song really embodies the message today because what is the next phrase? “But I know I’m gonna change that tune When I’m back on top, back on top in June.” In fact, I wasn’t planning to do this, but let’s just listen to the lyrics of that song for a few moments.
That's life (That's life) That's what all the people say You're riding high in April, shot down in May But I know I'm gonna change that tune When I'm back on top, back on top in June I said that's life (That's life) And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet A pawn and a king I've been up and down and over and out And I know one thing Each time I find myself Flat on my face I pick myself up and get Back in the race That's life (That's life) I tell you, I can't deny it I thought of quitting, baby But my heart just ain't gonna buy it And if I didn't think it was worth one single try I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly
I love good old Frank. And I love that song not only because it’s catchy and a classic, but because it truly teaches us important things. It teaches us to have an understanding that life just happens. That’s how the cookie crumbles, folks. It teaches us to have a positive and empowered mindset. It teaches us that we may need to experiment with many different things or try out many different roles to find what works for us, and it teaches us never to quit. It’s a jam, baby.
There are a couple of other things I’d suggest that can help minimize the pain and the duration of our falls:
1. We can reach out to others around us. These people may be family and friends or business mentors and associates depending on the situation. It’s vital to realize that we aren’t alone and that its okay to get help. The people in our lives are often the best resource to get a leg up and back in the saddle.
2. Make like Donna and Tom in the tv series Parks and Rec and “Treat Yo’self!” If you’ve experienced a painful fall, it’s okay to take a small amount of time to recover and do something just for you. You’ll feel refreshed and rejuvenated to try again.
3. Reframe Your Fall. It’s easy to have negative emotions bubble up and that’s okay for a moment or two, but then be very deliberate in the story that you tell yourself. Remember that tumbles are to be expected but you are not a wimp. You got this. You can learn from the fall and do better next time. And here’s an extra little secret: things are always better the second time around, or the fifth time around, you know. The finished product or experience will be better than if you succeeded on the first attempt. Facts, people.
4. This is the cliche response but also the most important thing to remember. Get back up and going as soon as possible. The longer you procrastinate getting back up in that saddle whether it’s due to fear, or some other excuse, the less likely you are to succeed. Because it will be easier to give up or you will become distracted by other things.
I quote C. S. Lewis a lot. I think he was a genius and his writing has influenced me tremendously. In the third book of the Narnia series called A Horse and His Boy, we learn a lot about what it means to get back in the saddle. The hero, Shasta is a young boy running away with a talking horse to escape being sold into slavery. I’ll end today with just a snippet of the story.
“..By the way, I suppose you know how to ride?”
“Oh, yes, of course,” said Shasta. “At least, I’ve ridden the donkey.”
“Ridden the what?” retorted the Horse with extreme contempt. (At least, that is what he meant. Actually it came out in a sort of neigh—”Ridden the wha-ha-ha-ha-ha.” Talking horses always become more horsey in accent when they are angry.)
“In other words,” it continued, “you can’t ride. That’s a drawback. I’ll have to teach you as we go along. If you can’t ride, can you fall?”
“I suppose anyone can fall,” said Shasta.
“I mean can you fall and get up again without crying and mount again and fall again and yet not be afraid of falling?”
“Ooh! You’re a dreadful height,” gasped Shasta after his first, and unsuccessful, attempt.
“I’m a horse, that’s all,” was the reply. “Anyone would think I was a haystack from the way you’re trying to climb up me! There, that’s better. Now sit up and remember what I told you about your knees. Funny to think of me who has led cavalry charges and won races having a potato sack like you in the saddle! However, off we go.” It chuckled, not unkindly.
They had been going uphill and now were at the top of the ridge—that ridge which had always been the boundary of Shasta’s known world. He could not see what was ahead except that it was all open and grassy. It looked endless: wild and lonely and free.
Lewis, C. S., & Baynes, P. (1994). Chapter One. In The Horse and His Boy (Vol. 3, Ser. The Chronicles of Narnia). novel, HarperCollins.
In the beginning, we may feel like a sack of potatoes. We’re bound to fall many times before we’re done. But in the end, we will likely surprise ourselves with what we’ve been able to accomplish. The way before us is open and endless with possibilities. It’s up to us to get back in the saddle and seize them.
Thanks for listening. I hope you have a fantastic week and don’t forget to Live The Vibrant Life!
