Estimated Reading Time 8 Minutes
Hey you! I’m Emily Romrell and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. I hope you’re having a happy day. I’m so excited to talk with you. But I gotta admit, I’m not as comfortable with the topic today as I usually am. You know I started this podcast to sort of document my personal journey to a vibrant joyful life and hopefully help others along the way. And each week it’s been amazing as I’ve thought about what I want to share and how to connect with you. I believe that we can be guided in things like that and I’ve felt Heaven close as I’ve prayed to know what messages to send out. This week, I feel a powerful prompting to talk about feeling invisible. This one is hard for me because it’s a real struggle that I have and something that I’m still in the process of conquering. So I hope you can hang in here with me.
I guess it’s important for me that you know that I am far from mastering all of the things that I cover on the podcast. I’m just an imperfect human doing the best I can like everyone else.
You may not realize this because I put on a podcast, but I am not the most outgoing person in the world. I wouldn’t call myself shy necessarily. I can hold my own one on one with people. But I do not like being the center of attention. I think there’s a lot that goes into that that I don’t need to unpack right now. But I doubt I’m the only person in this boat. But here’s the thing, when you go out of your way to stay in the background, you usually succeed. And the truth is that all of us want to be seen and appreciated for who we are.
Also, I just want to acknowledge that I have an amazing support system. I have a loving family and caring friends. Relationships are super important to me and it’s important to realize that feeling invisible is not a reflection on the other people in your life. I think we can feel a lot of guilt or shame sometimes when we do have amazing people in our lives but we still struggle to feel seen. One of the biggest lessons I’m learning in life is that our feelings and perceptions come from within not without. So if you are experiencing the extra weight of shame or guilt on top of feeling invisible. Try to let that go. Please don’t blame yourself for negative emotions. Just work on becoming more mindful and work on opening your heart and mind. We all have difficult feelings sometimes. That’s life.
There are a lot of reasons why we might be feeling invisible. As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, I know that mental health is a big factor. Thinking patterns get ingrained in our brains and it’s a battle to change. And those thinking patterns aren’t necessarily correct or healthy. Also, I know sometimes when I’ve been anxious or depressed I’ve been numb to a lot of emotion. When you feel like a robot going through the motions, it’s easy to also feel invisible. My only real advice here is to get help if you need it. It takes a lot of work but talking to someone who can be objective is so helpful. Don’t be afraid to try medication if it helps. There is a lot of experimenting to find out the best plan of action sometimes. Don’t give up. If you are willing to be honest with yourself and put in the effort, things will get better.
Another big reason we might feel invisible is that we aren’t being true to ourselves. The world is so crazy. On one end of the spectrum, people are encouraged to be as flashy and outrageous as possible. Look at what is going viral on TikTok or Youtube. Some of the things people put out there are insane. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of authentic content creators. But a lot of people do whatever absurd thing they can think of to get a big reaction. On the other hand, some of us never share what we are thinking and feeling. It goes back to that idea of staying in the background, right?
Here’s the truth. People tend to take us at our word and our actions. If we don’t express what we’re thinking and feeling then who is really to blame if others don’t see who we genuinely are? Here’s a small example. I am someone who really doesn’t care most of the time where we decide to go out to dinner, what show we should watch, or which board game to play on Saturday night. So I’ve created this habit of going with the flow and whatever other people want to do. But sometimes I wonder why I don’t speak up more. I can start feeling invisible wondering why we don’t choose more things that I want to do. It’s up to me to let people know when I do have an opinion.
But it goes beyond movies or restaurants. I often choose to keep my thoughts to myself when I’m in a group discussion or a class. I think I’m a relatively intelligent person, but I am much more comfortable letting others share than opening up myself. I love playing the guitar but I dislike playing for an audience. Can you think of similar ways you might hold back in your life?
In Christ’s Sermon on the Mount, Jesus explains how to overcome these feelings. In Matthew chapter five we read:
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
I like to think of our individual talents and gifts as salt that gives life flavor. If we are afraid to let our lights shine, then it makes sense that others won’t see us in the resulting darkness. If you’re like me then you hate to be thought of as arrogant or conceited. But the great thing that we learn from these verses is that when we let others truly see us and we are willing to share our greatness, then the glory goes to Heavenly Father.
One of my all-time favorite quotes is from Marianne Williamson. I love it so much that I have it hanging in my hallway so I can see it every day.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
This is something that’s hard for me, but I feel the truth of it in my bones. We are all so special in our own wonderful ways. If you’re feeling invisible, take a minute to consider that you may be hiding your light. If you need a little push, here it is. Go out and glow like the beautiful person that you are.
So we’ve covered being brave and letting your insides out so the world can see the real you. But this can only happen if you physically get out of your house. With the Covid19 pandemic, I think we’ve been more isolated and lonely than ever before. We’re starving for connection.
I am naturally a homebody. I’ve never liked group activities. They give me anxiety. Also, I have some other health stuff going on that impacts my social life. But phew, the last year and a half, my friends, it’s been insane. I doubt there’s a person listening to this podcast who hasn’t felt invisible. We’ve been quarantined and unable to do the things we love with the people that we love. It’s been rough, I know.
The good news is that things are getting better. The vaccine is much more accessible. We’re slowly getting back to whatever normal is these days. So we can get out of the house and share the love with the world. And I want you to know that every little effort you make to connect with others makes a difference. When you take the time to see others, it also gives them a chance to see you.
There’s that quote from the movie We Bought A Zoo. You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.
That is some of the best advice I’ve ever heard. Have you ever dreaded going to a party, or doing some household chore, or even going to work on Monday morning. We’ve all been there, right? In the movie, the guy was afraid to go into a restaurant to talk to a pretty girl. Well, Tom Petty was right. The waiting is the hardest part. The time spent waiting and feeling invisible is over, my friends.
I’ve had a few opportunities to get out and connect with people this last week. And the truth is I almost chose not to show up. But luckily, I pushed through and listened to that inner voice that encouraged me to put myself out there. And guys, I was able to connect with some new friends and they shared some personal stuff that I never would have expected. It was amazing.
A while ago I did a podcast, Never Suppress A Generous Thought. That can make a big difference in overcoming invisibility. And the generous thoughts are not just for other people. Don’t suppress those generous thoughts for yourself. When you get a prompting to do something, do it. Make cookies for your neighbor, go to the game night that you don’t feel like going to, take care of yourself and go for a walk in the sunshine.
So my hope is that if you’ve felt overshadowed lately, that you know you’re not alone. We all have those times where we feel invisible. But you are wonderful and you deserve to be seen for the magnificent person you are. Don’t be afraid to let your light shine. It gives others the courage to shine too. I mean, really…that’s what being vibrant is. Have a fabulous week.
