Estimated Reading Time 7 Minutes
Hey You! How’s it going? This is The Vibrant Life Podcast and I’m Emily Romrell. Are you enjoying all the things? Summer is a great season for adventures so I hope you’re out and about having a few. I’m doing my best. I was able to spend some time in the canyon this last week and it was so much fun. I am always rejuvenated by nature and I’m grateful to live in such a beautiful world.
I hope you’re loving the podcast. It’s been an adventure for me to put myself out there in this way and I’m learning and growing every week. That’s my wish for you too. If you feel like the show has been a benefit to you, please leave a review on iTunes and encourage your friends to check it out. Spreading the word helps more than you might think. Also, you do not want to miss next week’s episode. I can hardly believe we’re at number twenty already but I have a real treat for you guys, so stay tuned.
I’m excited about the subject of our conversation today. Have you ever heard an old song that you love and it transports you right back into the past and into a special moment that might have happened while that song was playing? Well, today we’re taking a look at the past, specifically our mindset and emotions about the past. I might be one of the most nostalgic people ever. Sometimes I might be a little too sentimental and I’m working on that. Some people don’t necessarily think of nostalgia as a good thing. But today, I’m making a case for why you should Be Nostalgic.
I’m a collector. I collect nerdy pins for my backpack. I collect my favorite quotes and sayings. I absolutely love to collect books. But maybe most of all, like a favorite saying that’s made its way across the internet, I like to collect moments, not things.
I have always loved poignant moments. It’s all about the strong emotions; laughing until you cry, bursting into tears at a surprise, or those moments when your feelings are so tender that you are still and quiet. They’re all special and they make life worth living.
To me, those moments are found in connection. Whether it’s a connection with nature, relationships with others, with God, or with yourself; when there is a deep connection there is deep emotion.
When you take the positives from these emotions with you as you travel into the future, you can look back for comfort in difficult times. There’s a famous poem by William Wordsworth called I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud or lots of people call it the daffodil poem. I especially love the last verse:
For oft when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude,
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the Daffodils.
To me, this is what it truly means to be nostalgic. You gather up the moments in your mind and then in your pensive moods, you can replay them for comfort and to gain more wisdom and knowledge. It’s a joyful thing.
Have you ever been with someone you’re close with and you start playing the “Remember When” game? Remember when we made the best blanket fort ever at that sleepover? Remember that summer we went swimming every single day? Remember how hard that class was in college? You know, as I’m saying this to you, I’m feeling nostalgic about that song by Alan Jackson, Remember When. It’s a great song and you should check it out if you don’t know it.
Anyway, it’s nearly impossible to play the “Remember When” game without smiling. Even if sometimes it’s a sad smile. This is because we are made from our experiences. When we travel back to poignant experiences from our past we literally relive them in our brains. The joy that was felt then can be felt again now.
I need to explain something here. It’s easy to get hung up on the past and when that happens we don’t truly live in the present. Too many of us get stuck in that trap. I know I’ve been there. There is a reason that Dumbledore warned Harry about wasting away in front of the mirror of Erised. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” That’s not what this is about. It’s important to be mindful and to live your life.
But I am big on owning your story and that, My Friends, makes all the difference in the world. Part of owning your story is choosing how you look at the past and deciding what it means for you. This is especially powerful when dealing with painful or shameful memories. It takes a lot of work sometimes, but here’s the truth: your past doesn’t have to haunt you. The facts of the past will always remain the same, but the meaning that we attach to the facts is all up to us. This one of the most empowering and hopeful things that I’ve learned so far.
Remember a minute ago when I mentioned how we literally relive memories in our brains? This isn’t just a cute idea. It’s the truth. Similar things happen when you visualize things in your imagination, when you dream at night, or even while you’re watching tv or reading a book. Human beings have this extraordinary ability to see things in their mind’s eye. And the brain can’t tell the difference between these situations and real life. The same chemicals and reactions occur when you experience say, driving a car yourself and watching someone drive a car on tv. Isn’t that fascinating? This is why people love stories so much. It’s why you like to watch or read your favorite stories again and again. Because the feelings come back each time almost like it’s the first time.
The magic happens when you deliberately choose for a past experience to mean something new. Then when you relive that episode in your mind, your brain will produce new chemicals and have new reactions. The meaning you attach changes the feelings you experience.
High School was hard for me. I really struggled with depression and anxiety which caused me to isolate myself a lot. I didn’t want anyone to know what I was going through and think I was crazy. I had some friends but rarely hung out on the weekends. The story that I got in my head was that I was a loner destined to go through life by myself. Pretty tragic right? I still to this day have to fight that story in my head. But I’m getting better. I really don’t care if people know I struggle with those things anymore. Now I tell myself that just because I felt isolated then doesn’t mean I have to be isolated now. And I really did have some good friends in high school. When I think about those people I smile and I’m grateful…for the most part. But it does take work.
One of the biggest consequences of my struggles growing up is that I gained a lot of weight. This made things harder for me and I found it even more difficult to connect with people. I am so thankful for the journey of my life though. In the past I would tell myself that it was shameful or bad to be so overweight and I should be better than that. But now, I recognize the choices in my life that brought me to that place. I’ve lost a lot of the weight and I’m so much healthier now. And I’m grateful for the experience and compassion that being overweight gave me so I can empathize better with others. I appreciate being in better shape so much more now. It does nothing for me to beat myself up because of my experiences in the past. But when I own where I’ve been and accept it, I can move forward in life with so much more freedom.
One of the best teachers in modern times is Wayne Dyer. If you don’t know who he is, you should google him and buy all his books. He teaches a lot about mindfulness and emotions and he has a quote that I love:
“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
Nostalgia is a wistful affection for the past. That doesn’t necessarily mean sad or depressing, especially if you are nostalgic with a purpose which as we’ve discussed, means being deliberate in your interpretation of the past. I like to think of wistful as a thoughtful longing. If we are thoughtful or mindful we can take the best things with us as we move forward into the future. I think it’s ok to have regrets. It’s hard to get through life without them. But we don’t have to let our regrets loom so big that they prevent us from learning and growing and moving forward. We can learn from Wordsworth and take advantage of that flash of the inward eye. Honestly, that might be one of the best meanings for meditation I can think of. I just came up with that definition. Are you impressed?
So my challenge to you this week is to reflect on some of the more difficult or painful memories you might be carrying inside. What would your life be like if you decided to let those memories mean something different? Then remember some of the laugh out loud good times and tuck those away in a safe place for when you need them. You might be surprised at how much more vibrant your life will be.
Hey You! Don’t forget to stay tuned for next week’s episode. It’s number twenty and it’s something special. You definitely don’t want to miss it. What’s the best way to stay in the know, you ask? Well, you should subscribe to the podcast on iTunes of course! And while you’re there, why not leave a quick review so others can find the podcast? And while you’re doing that why not take a moment to tell your friends? Seriously, it would be so amazing if you would help share the love. Thanks so much, Peeps. And remember to Live The Vibrant Life!
