Ep 60. ABC’s For Difficult Days

Estimated Reading Time 9 Minutes

Hey You! I’m Emily Romrell and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today. We are at sixty episodes my friends and that is simply tremendous. It’s crazy how fast time has flown by. I feel like I’ve learned and grown so much personally in my effort to share some of life’s lessons with you. You know I’m not a medical professional or an expert in self-help or psychology etc. I’m just another human trying to figure things out and it means a lot that many of you are on this ride with me.

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I do my best to be real with y’all and I hope you know that I am dealing with the good, the bad, and the ugly just like everyone else. I don’t like to emphasize my struggles because my life really is wonderful and I am so blessed. But the last couple of weeks have been tough. I have chronic pain with fibromyalgia and it’s a challenge learning how to manage that. Also, I recently had the stomach flu which was a doozy. Then yesterday I had some back injections to try to help manage my pain but it can cause things to flair up initially so the last two days have been challenging. I’m not trying to complain but I just want to be real with you.

And as I was pondering on what I wanted to share with you this week, I remembered an exercise I did a while back where I listed ways to cope with depression and anxiety from A to Z. Sometimes we don’t realize the benefits of our struggles until we look back with a higher perspective. Lately, I’ve been so grateful for these tools as I still have mental health things, but I feel like these exercises have also helped so much when dealing with my physical pain. So today we’re running through the list. And if even one of these things helps you, then this podcast is a success.

Accept What You Can Change & Act When/Where You Can
This is the wisdom you find in The Serenity Prayer that’s often used in addiction recovery programs. It’s commonly quoted as: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. By focusing on what you can do rather than what you can’t, life becomes much more manageable.
Breathe & Always Do Your Best
It astonishes me how powerful simple breathing techniques can be in overcoming both physical and mental pain. If you click the header under B in the show notes, it will take you to several great exercises. You may be skeptical at first, but if you give these a try I think you’ll be amazed at how well they work too. Also, giving yourself credit for doing your best really helps. Things are hard enough without beating yourself up. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.
Challenge Limiting Beliefs
We often accept ideas and beliefs that just aren’t true. If we learn to challenge our limiting beliefs things can turn around quickly. I covered this on a previous episode, The ABCDE Model. If you click the header under C you can check that out. But there are a lot of ways to do this. It takes practice but if you monitor your thoughts and if you’re deliberate about your focus, your life will change.
Discipline
Living purposefully and without fear takes practice. And practice is the key to consistency. I am far from having this mastered. But I find comfort in the fact that most disciples fall short in following their teachers. I think the thing is to just keep going. Don’t give up. If you keep trying you will keep improving and eventually you will gain the discipline you need in the areas you work on. Once that discipline is in place life will be that much easier. It’s ironic that hard work makes life easier, but it’s true.
Exercise
It’s something we all know we should embrace, but that we often put off. Physical movement encourages forward motion in the mind. It gives us the endorphins and other chemicals we need to be mentally and emotionally fit. And of course, if you have a regular habit of exercise your body will be much healthier. It’s not easy if you are in pain to begin with, I get it. But exercise is essential to living your best life.
Find A Friend
This is a big one. Don’t try to do things on your own. We all need the support of our family and friends. Reach out to others. Don’t isolate yourself. Even if all they provide is a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, sometimes those are the two things that mean the most.
Play A Game
Playfulness diminishes the weight of heavy thoughts. Just like Mary Poppins explained, “In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.” When you look for the fun you’ll find life is much more vibrant.
Help Someone Else
It’s easy to get a little self-centered when life gets hard. I think we all have the temptation to throw a pity party at times. But that might be the worst thing we could do. If we look outside of ourselves and help others we often find that our troubles are much easier to bear. And the benefits we receive in helping others are often greater than what we give. It’s marvelous.
“I” Statements
“I” statements are useful in relationships. They force us to take responsibility for our thoughts and feelings and prevent us from blaming others. Rather than accusing someone else you are explaining where you’re coming from. For example you might say “I felt embarrassed when you told that story to our friends.” rather than “You always share private info etc.” You might be surprised at how much smoother difficult conversations go by using “I” statements. Another thing that they do is define how you feel. If you’ve been around kids you know that they don’t always know how to express their feelings. So they act out. But a helpful adult will teach them that they are feeling angry or shy or embarrassed. It’s easy to confuse our emotions as adults too. If you take a minute to use “I” statements it helps to define emotions you may not know you were feeling.
Keep A Journal
I’m a writer and a reader so I know first hand the difference writing things out can make. Keeping a journal is a wonderful way to get things out of your brain so you can work with them. Also looking back at where you’ve come from and the progress you’ve made is extremely rewarding.
Be Kind
Kindness is a superpower. Being kind to others opens up more opportunities and creates more connections that anything else. And when you are kind to yourself, you open up the way to fulfill your great potential.
Listen To Music & Other Soothing Sounds
Music is one of the most healing forces in existence. I highly recommend learning to play an instrument or singing, but even just listening to music that inspires you makes a huge difference. Also go outside and listen to the birds sing. Listen to the wind in the trees. These things soothe my soul when almost nothing else works.
Meditate
Wayne Dyer is a magnificent self help and mindfulness teacher. I highly recommend his books. Anyway, he said meditation helps you access conscious contact with your highest self. I can’t say it any better than that.
Take A Nap
As someone who struggles with insomnia I know the value of sleep. We often discount how much our physical needs affect our lives. Power naps are proven to increase success in studying and improving performance in almost anything. If you feel grumpy a good nap is guaranteed to make you feel better.
Observe Your Surroundings
You might have noticed a theme with mindfulness by now. But that is the trick to managing a lot of life. I know that is true but again I fall short incessantly. If you’ve ever read Sherlock Holmes or other mystery novels you know the power of observation. The ability to look at yourself and observe the patterns in your life is priceless. Observing your surroundings is also helpful to ground yourself and control anxiety.
Pray
I have a sign over my bed that says, “Give It To God And Go To Sleep” This is more than accepting what you can’t control. This is believing that you have a Heavenly Father who is actively working for your good. It’s not always easy to have faith. But prayer helps. I have a testimony that God answers our prayers. Sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes the answer is not yet. But if you open up your mind and ask with a sincere heart, I believe you will be able to feel Heavenly Father’s love for you. Once that happens, it’s easier to move forward. Your situation might not change on the outside but just feeling that love and knowing that God is working for you changes everything on the inside.
Ask Questions
I guess this goes right along with being prayerful and also with being observant. But I’ve found that I’m running on autopilot more that I should be. And my autopilot is set to survival mode. But if you become curious about your life and you ask questions you will find answers. You gotta ask a question to get an answer, right? Also being curious and fascinated with life is really the best way to live. There is so much to learn and for me learning is one of the truest pleasures of all.
Read
Get inspired by the power of words. Books are some of my best friends. I love fiction and nonfiction alike. There are so many people who have shared their insights through books. It’s foolish not to take advantage of that. And there is just nothing like traveling to a different world through the pages of a book. Whether you need a break from your troubles for a while or maybe you’re looking for some wisdom to help you overcome those troubles, books are the way to go.
Soak Up Some Sun
It’s important to get outside. We’re all basically house plants with complicated emotions. We need sun like every other living thing. If you’ve been cooped up inside for too long it’s going to affect every aspect of your life. Soak up some sunshine and feel better.
Talk It Out
A lot of pain and misunderstanding could be avoided by simply talking things out rather than avoiding difficult conversations. The truth is that we make things worse in our minds than they are in real life. Learn to talk through your problems with others. Also a willingness to talk through your personal struggles with someone you trust is so helpful. An outside perspective can shine a light on things you haven’t considered.
Understand
We like to believe that life should be easier and/or fair. But that’s just not how it goes. The older I get the more I know that every human on the planet is tested to their utmost in some fashion. We were sent here to fulfil the measure of our creation. That takes work and some suffering. But when we understand there is purpose in the growing pains we go through, the suffering grows less.
Visualize
See it then be it. Visualizing comes so naturally. It’s a big part of what our imagination is for. Athletes know it, Artists know it, and successful businessmen know it. Something must first be created in the mind before it can be created physically. It’s just how it works.
Drink Water
Leonardo Da Vinci noted that “water is the driving force of all nature.” We know this but we drink more soda and juice than pure water. We don’t drink enough and run around dehydrated most of the time. It’s crazy. We need water just like we need sunlight. A tall glass full of cold water is one of the great pleasures in life. Water cleanses our system and keeps us going more than anything else. Drink More Water.
Experiment
Try new things. Use what works for you. Eliminate what doesn’t. We have individual needs and it’s important to figure out what we like and what we find useful.
Yearn For Personal Growth
If you study personal development long enough it becomes delicious. You hunger for more knowledge and more growth just like you hunger for a good meal. At that point, though times can still be tough, you lean into life with excitement. It’s great.
Cultivate A Zest For Life
It all boils down to your choices. You can choose to develop these skills and learn to manage your health mentally, emotionally, and physically. If something is zesty, it’s full of flavor. It’s fresh. It’s vibrant. It’s taken most of my adult life to realize most of the things on this list. I am far from mastering these skills, but I know they work. I want to live a vibrant life and I want that for you also. If we embrace the things on this list, I think we’re on our way.