Estimated Reading Time 11 Minutes
Hey You! I’m Emily Romrell and this is The Vibrant Life Podcast. I’m so grateful to have you here with me today, wherever you are and whenever this is. That’s the magic of technology and stories right? Whether it’s non-fiction personal development stuff like we discuss on this podcast, or if it’s a fictional story you relate to, stories are powerful because you can go back to them over and over again, and each time you take away something new and wonderful. And whether you are listening at the time this message is released or if it’s years later, I’m glad to have you with me on the journey.
You know, the stories we keep in our heads and the way we talk to ourselves are vitally connected to how we perceive the world around us and how we interact in it. Every relationship in our lives is affected, but most especially the relationship we each have with ourselves. I’ve watched with fascination over the last two years as the world has experienced the Covid-19 Pandemic. The stories being told about the virus both true and fictional are running just as rampant as the sickness.
The efforts that humanity has made in such a short time to come up with a vaccine and fight the Corona Virus are pretty miraculous. Obviously, there is a lot of division and contention too, which is tragic. But you may not have realized we’ve been dealing with another pandemic for decades now. And that is the widespread increase of mental illness. This similarly has brought some people together and divided others. And stories about mental illness are just as convoluted. I’m here today to tell you, my friends, it is just as important to treat our mental health crisis as it is to fight Covid.
I’ve had a few different friends ask me if I have any tools or strategies to help manage mental health problems and the short answer is, yes. I’ve definitely learned some things while battling my own demons. So today I’m going to share the Top Ten Mental Health Tools that have helped me most in my personal journey. However, I do need to be clear that I am not a mental health professional. I am not qualified to treat anyone. So please don’t use these ideas to avoid seeking true professional help if you need it.
10. Don’t Be Afraid To Get Professional Help
Although I truly believe that people are more accepting now than they used to be, the truth is that there is still a lot of stigma about mental illness, and the majority of people who need help in this area do not seek it or receive it. I was mortified to go into counseling as a teenager and I didn’t want anyone to know. So let’s talk about this for a minute.
The cliche analogy is that if you broke your arm you would go see a doctor, so why wouldn’t you feel the same way about something broken in your brain chemistry or mental state? I understand why people use this example and it’s true to a point. But there are some fundamental differences about invisible illnesses. When you have a broken arm or a cut, or a fever, people can see your suffering and they naturally want to help.
When you are mentally or emotionally distraught, the cause is much more ambiguous, and it’s so easy to judge. Sadly, it’s human nature to be fearful and judge things we don’t understand. Even those closest to us are often frustrated at our inability to “snap out of it” or come to conclusions that we must be lazy and unwilling to do things etc.
My only advice is that if you don’t take the risk to talk about things and get the help you need, you will remain stuck right where you are and I know what a hopeless place that can be. You can’t live your life based on what others think. You have to do what’s best for you. And if you can gather your courage, you might be amazed at how things can turn around.
There are a lot of professional options out there and your treatment should be tailored to you. I’m a big believer in counseling and taking medication if that works for you. But the thing to remember is that things take time and you need to experiment with different treatments before you find what will work best for you. But please, from my heart to yours, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. It could make all the difference.
9. Breathing Techniques
One of the fastest ways I know of to regain control of things mentally is to focus your breathing. There are a lot of different exercises out there that you can try. I’ll just share two with you today. But a simple internet search will provide you with all the breathing techniques you may desire.
The first breathing exercise is simple. Take two short inhales of breath through your nose and one long exhale out your mouth. Just repeat this a few times and you will begin to feel much better. I kind of think of this as anti-hyperventilating. When we get anxious or upset it’s easy for our bodies to hyperventilate which can even cause us to pass out. This little trick will help you regain control of your body quickly. It can bring your heart rate down and calm those nerves fast.
The next breathing exercise is all about being slow and deliberate in your breathing. I don’t have a name for this, it’s just what my own counselor taught me. You breathe in slowly through your nose filling up your lungs as much as possible for a count of eight. Then hold for four a count of four. Then let out the breath slowly on a count of eight through your mouth. Then hold for another count of four. Repeat this cycle at least four times. If you are struggling with doing counts of eight, you can just do quads of four counts on each step. But holding the breath out a little longer can bring your heart rate down lower and clears your mind a little better, I think.
It might shock you how much better you will feel simply by using these easy breathing tools.
8. Grounding Techniques
Just like with breathing, there are a million different grounding exercises out there to try. So I’ll share two of my favorites with you. If you’re not familiar with the term “Grounding” it just means finding a way to get out of your head and come back to reality. It’s a great way to help you stay present in the moment where you are. You literally ground yourself using these various techniques.
The first grounding exercise is all about the five senses. You close your eyes and focus on one thing in your environment that connects with each of the senses. For example, as I’m writing these thoughts down for you, I can feel the body heat of my little dog, Artemis, who is lying next to me. I can hear the train rushing down the tracks nearby. I can smell the perfume on my shirt. Taste is sometimes a little tricky, but luckily I have one of my favorite drinks nearby and I still have the taste of coconut in my mouth. And when I open my eyes I can see my cute little dog looking back at me. I love the way he tilts his head trying to understand when I talk to him. This grounding technique is very effective and easy to remember. If you’re having a harder time, you can even challenge yourself to find 5 things each that you can touch, taste, smell, see and hear.
My second grounding technique is The ABCDE method. I actually did a podcast on this model a while back, so you can check that out for more detail. But here’s a quick rundown: using the five fingers on your hand, tap your leg with each finger, or put a finger down as you follow each step to challenge your thinking in any given situation. A = The Activating Event, B = Beliefs about the event, C = Consequences of those beliefs, D = Disputation of Beliefs, E = Effect of disputation or of new beliefs.
7. A Vizualization Technique
Another helpful thing to try is visualization. This is great especially if you have a good imagination. You can always work on visualizing what a better life for you would look like. But to calm down and refocus your mental health, here is a tool you can try:
Close your eyes and sit in a comfortable position with a straight back and good posture. Imagine yourself in a hectic and noisy setting. Maybe you’re in the middle of a big city. Imagine yourself being jostled by the crowds of people. There is noise everywhere: cars honking, people shouting, music blaring, kids playing, you name it. You don’t have the space you need to think, but luckily you have legs. You find yourself walking a couple of blocks and suddenly you find yourself away from the city and walking into a scene in nature somewhere. For me, it’s up in the mountains. I find myself walking up into the hills where there are fields of wildflowers. I can smell them in the air. I have an imaginary cabin up there by a lake. I walk up to my beautiful cabin and find my way into a cozy hammock. I can feel the breeze in my hair. My clothes are the most comfortable I can imagine. I can hear people I love laughing inside the house. I have nothing but wide open spaces and beautiful things to look at.
Can you see how taking an imaginary journey from a hectic setting into a peaceful one could be beneficial? I dare you to try it.
6. Replace Fear And Dread With Action Instead
One thing that has taken its own sweet time to sink in for me is this concept that the fear of a thing is almost always worse than the actual thing. This is where a lot of anxiety lives. We don’t want to experience a negative emotion and so we choose to feel a different negative emotion ahead of time. Bonkers, I know.
We’ve all been there, right? You dread going into work on Monday morning but once you’re there, it’s not so bad. Or maybe there is a difficult conversation that you’ve been avoiding and when you actually muster up the guts to speak up, you find that talking it out went much better than expected.
But in order to get past the dread and fear, you have to take action. You have to get up and go to work. You have to communicate with that person you’ve been avoiding. Understanding this is one of the great keys to success. It doesn’t have to even be anything extreme. Just think of the next small step you can take to move forward and take action with whatever is worrying you. That one small step will dispel a heck of a lot of unnecessary anxiety.
5. Look Your Best
We’re halfway through this list now and you may be thinking that there isn’t anything mind-blowing or new here. Well, you’re right. The truth is that all of this advice has been around for ages. The crazy thing is that as humans we still aren’t following these tried and true principles. We’re living the definition of insanity that Albert Einstein described. We’re doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Crazy.
The fifth tool on my list is to make an effort to look your best, even if you have nowhere to go. Because we all know, when you look good you feel good. Sometimes, if all you do for the whole day is take a shower and do your hair, you can count that as a victory. But I can promise you this. If you do make the effort to look your best you will feel much more like being productive than if you had stayed in your pajamas all day.
4. Go For A Walk Outside
Human hearts need the outdoors. We need wind, and sunshine, and trees, and birds, and grass. We need to feel the ground move under our feet as we literally walk and exercise. Going for walks has made a huge difference in my mental health. When we exercise we produce the needed chemicals that we might be low on in the first place. This is one of the easiest actions you can take if you don’t know what to do from suggestion number 6. If you’re depressed you won’t feel like it at first, but if you get up and do it. Going for a walk can change the outlook of your whole day. Make going for a daily habit and your life will change. I guarantee it.
3. Write Down Thoughts & Feelings
Another super helpful tool is simply to write down what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Sometimes when we’re caught up in the middle of big emotions it’s hard to know what’s happening inside us. But if we take a few minutes to physically write these things down, we often surprise ourselves with how specific we can be. There are no right or wrong ways to do this. Maybe you make a simple list. You could write a poem or a short story. You could even draw a picture. Whatever works for you is great. You never have to show your notes to anyone. Though it may be helpful to show a trusted counselor or friend if you’d like some extra support. But the simple act of transporting your thoughts and emotions out of your head into the physical world on paper can be just the release of energy that you need to move forward.
2. Serve Someone Else
This is something we should all focus on more often. When you’re going through a hard time in your mental health it is very easy to become sorry for yourself and even become self-centered. A big part of living your best life is showing up for others. Be someone else’s cheerleader. There are so many ways to serve and make a difference. You don’t have to do something big and showy. Write a note to a friend. Bring someone dinner. Challenge yourself to see how many doors you can open for other people during the week. Share your talents with the world. This will get you out of your own head. You can make a difference to others and when you make the effort it feels fantastic.
1. Practice Gratitude
This is my number one thing to do when you struggle with mental health. Even on the days when you don’t make it out of bed, you can still go through a mental checklist of things you’re grateful for. Are you grateful that you have a bed to stay in at all? What about that? You probably have food in your fridge, the Internet that lets you connect to the world even when you don’t feel like connecting, books to read, and people that care about you. There are a million things you can be thankful for even in the midst of really challenging times. Even if you only take two minutes out of your day to name a few of them, it will help you to increased mental health. Remember to be grateful for the life you have.
Alrighty, Peeps. We made it through my Top Ten Mental Health Tools. Again, I know these suggestions are not new but I know they have made a big difference in my life. I hope they can help you too. Please don’t be afraid to reach out and get help when you need it. If there is one thing I know, it’s that every human on the planet struggles in their own way with tough things uniquely challenging to them. That’s why we’re all here together, so we can help each other. Let’s all come together and Live The Vibrant Life!
